Oh, that is pretty. I love the last line. And I love the repetition. This is just really poetic, for lack of a better word. Beautiful. Keep writing! :)

"Pollen and sunset-dust." AWW! What a sweet line. Brilliant use of kenning.

"How I mold your clay-flesh." M hmm, now that's what I call an intriguing line. Darn, I can't remember the particular myth right now, but it reminds me of it, where a Goddess formed a lover our of clay for a mortal man.

"The Saxon earths." A powerful allusion to strong bloodlines.

"The neo-archaic wisdom of wunderkind tongues." Lovely diction.

"How we...become blithe feathers." Oh wow...I'm blown-away...

"How I lose myself to you." I would suggest changing that to "How I lose myself in you." That just makes it even more powerful.

I really enjoyed reading this,

-Isca

I like how honest is this.