WOW. This story is AMAZING. And intense. I really, really love it. I usually don't read stories that don't have a lot of romance in them, but I LOVE this one. It's different. I've seen a lot of zombie movies, but I've never read a zombie story. And I really, really love it. Please update again soon!

very freaky! cliffhanger too! what happened to zach? can't wait for the next chapter:)

i just have to say i HATE zombie stories, but here i am reading chapter after chapter of your horror and i can't seem to stop. sheesh. i'm addicted! this is really good and i can't wait to find out what's going to happen. all these chapters have me on edge and i'm going to have trouble being okay in teh dark for a while now. lol. good stuff. hope you update soon.

wow! great word choice at the end! "This is the end of the world as we know it," she says. "There is no plan."
FABULOUS! haha

oh my god :0 i love this story. Its so good. I dont usually read horror because they don't actually scare me, but the pictures you make are so vivid that its like i'm watching a zombie movie in my head :] so props for that.

I'm feeling good about the story now, but i think its gonna get bad soon right? because doesn't Zach get bitten? i mean it was at the beginning of the story so obviously he does :/ and that's the part that sucks but i still can't wait till u write more :D

keep it up

"Hoping it's clear by now that Syd's a guy..."
Oh haha, yea XD

"It’s Mercy Whetsell."
Damn not her D= Awkwardness.

"“You pray.” I turn my back on her, on my father. “I’m going to watch the news.”"
:( Poor Lauren-Daddy

"I get there first and yank aside the lacy white curtain, stare across the street at the Hultenschmidt house where a group of four staggering adults and little Mattie Hultendsmith are breaking in through the front bay windows."
WTF the zombies can do that?! D= Daamn. This si serious business.

"as Mattie pushes up her blouse and buries her face in her mother’s belly."
Haha, ironic and fitting XD

I think separating Zach and Lauren for some time has been a wise choice so far. Otherwise the story would be a little too flat, but now that you bring in further issues (her father for example) it is more well rounded.

Keep it up!
Frac, at the Review marathon
(link in profile)

"cranked thqe thermostat"
the

"“I never told you what happened upstairs at Syd’s.”"
Ah, good! Something happened.
And he didn't seem to have gotten bitten either, so that's good.

Anyways - I think this chapter was better than the last few I have read. The TV report, mainly, caught my interest. It was very bizarre but also realistic. And their phone convo was good too, not cheesy to stale. Cool ending too. I wonder if her dad came home? Hmm...

Frac, with the Review Marathon
(link in profile)

I like how you humanized the new zombie (mattie) here by having Lauren recall of the time they had spent together. Made it more real.

Aw Zach is gonna get the dog :D Cute. I hope the dog makes it.

"I am a coward. I am weak. If this was a movie, you'd know I was going to die. You wouldn't care."
This is my current problem, at the moment. She is beating herself down a whole major lot these last few chapters, and it isn't the character I started to like at the start of the story. So now I can't say I am rooting for Lauren all that much since not even she is. Vee just never impressed me, and Zach... I dunno. No chemistry. He's a bit too Lauren-focused.
In all - Oroe is my fav character. Lovely breed, too!

Frac
with the Review Marathon, link in profile

"A flash of white in the dark. White hair burning like fire, like the halo of an avenging angel. Zachary Galassi, I love you. Zach."
I forget to quote descriptions that were over the top in the previous, but here you have one for this chapter. It feels too forced, basically.

On the topic of Zach - he sure took his sweet time in a desolate, quiet, empty house :/ Especially when she screamed for him before. How long could it have taken him to come? I'm a natural skeptic.

Random: Zach has spoke a lot in italics lately...

Nice ending. Definitely creepy.

Head's up: your main character is getting very damsel-distressy, very passive. Instead it is Zach who does everything and she just angsts. To me at least, this is off putting.

Frac
from the Review Marathon, link in profile

I wasn't too fond of this chapter. The first half's descriptions didn't sit well with me, they felt a bit forced. I can't give any concrete examples because I forgot to review as I go.

Another thing I didn't particularly like was how sad and helpless and unhelpful Lauren continued to feel and be during the chapter. I don't know how to really explain that other than I have seen it plenty of times already and it just wasn't all that interesting.

And now you killed off my fav character :(

On the positive side - I liked the part where she found Syd though. The descriptions there were good.

Frac
From the Review marathon, link in profile

Odd thing: I thought Vee had a sex change or something? And he is still in school? How does that work? Doesn't make sense... Or maybe I am just remembering things wrong, in which case - ignore me.

"Zach shrugs, puts his arm around my shoulders. “Think I’ll stay.”"
He really is being too obvious :/ Why hasn't he said anything yet if he has the guts to be so obvious?

"Zach is the one with the black eye, Zach is always the one with the black eyes, and the bruises and stitches,"
Why wouldn't the school notice and take action then? It'd make more sense if they didn't if the bruises weren't in obvious places, like torso. But his face? Someone should have called the authorities by now since this seems like it has been a continuous problem.

"kitchen able "
table

Aw, Zach has a cute dog :)

Is still good so far, but there are some issues as I pointed out.

Frac

Oho? Dad found a lady friend. Guess that's why he was so happy. I was a bit suspicious about that. This makes sense.

"She’s spent twenty-three years of her life devoted to medicine, to healing, to surgery."
OOh, I wonder if she will be any help in the zombie problem...

"the place had goes quiet, heads turning."
Cut out the "had"

"Missing you already – no one to take over my TV at night!"
Aww XD

"I don’t Zach to have a"
I don't [missing word] Zach
?
Do you mean "want"?

Frac
From the Review Marathon (link in profile)

"Vee on his heels, he goes in."
*With* Vee on his heels, maybe?

"“We’re going to try to lift the cabinet off.”"
No, goddamn D=

"it lands right on Mrs. Schrunkle’s eye,"
Dude this is so gross D= D= D=
Well done XD

"Shorts are a little short…”"
XD

Can't wait for the zombie outbreak or whatever it is you have in mind :D I like the story so far - the focus on Lauren is really helping me care and you know, make her sympathetic.

Frac
From the Review marathon (link in profile)

"Syd says the Atlantic is old and angry, that she is sick of humanity and wishes she could swallow us up and turn us back into whales. He says he"
Since Syd seems to be female, shouldn't it be "She says she"? Otherwise I am just confused.

"Syd and his boyfriend Vee"
Okay now I am really confused..

"I don’t believe Helen is hoping. I think she wants dead bodies, lots of them. "
XD Lovely main character haha. I like the way these sentences are phrased. It's just so dark but in an appealing, witty way...if that makes sense.

"Once a week she brought in homemade sugar cookies, and she still sends Christmas card to all her past students, some of them grown up now with kids of their own."
Wow. She must send off Christmas cards in the hundreds O_o
I am not sure I believe this info. Doesn't seem much realistic.

"No wonder the seniors leave a clear space around us."
XD

"“Who needs suicide bombers when you’ve got Mother-fucking-Nature?”"
XD I like these people, haha. Particularly Lauren and Syd.

"And then she starts to move."
YES! Zombiefication :D
Lovely!

I hope Vee dies first. S/he is kind of annoying me.

Frac
Still with the Review Marathon - link in profile.

"The truth is, if you'd asked me three months ago how I'd like to spend the summer in Detroit with my mother, I'd have said it would be a disaster."
Bit of an awkward sentence. I think it'd read more smoothly if you started with the "If you'd asked me" part.

I liked the part about her parents. It felt alive and not like I was forcefed information. Also I kind of feel with the dad, he seemed so heartbroken :( Even though I know it made the mom superhappy, my heart still goes out for the sad one XD

Oh noes, its Zach D= Poor bastard. I feel sorry for him already.

"A hollow space beneath my breastbone swells;"
Liked this line - very nice word choices.

"I sweat to God"
swear

Another nice chapter! I'm very curious about how things will develop. :)

Frac
Still with the Review Marathon - link on profile.