 LostInMe 2009-04-26 . chapter 1Very original. Here's my translation (please tell me what I missed!):
Mine Karma Ran O'er Your Dogma (I added the apostrophe in "o'er" - that's what you mean, right?)
The Demon King rules our minds without so much as lifting a claw / ?Because? (there are question marks because if that's what it is, there's an extra A, but I can't think of anything else it could be) we give life in fearing him, ?parying? against meeting him, / ?Calming? (extra I) that he resides within the strange and different / (heathens) / And not the pious warmongers (I don't know why, but that one took me a while to figure out) and xenophobic / (devout). / He holds dominion in the minds of those that have hatred in their hearts. / Those that wish ill of others for selfish (strange, but this took me a while too) gain are ?mirteonetas? (couldn't figure out that one) for his grand / Opera and the true tragedy of it is simple: / The Demon King is merely an aspect of the faults of all mankind, / ?Mefisant? of the conscience in those that commit vile deeds / And fear of retribu[t]ion for ?relisenphebre? acts. / Those that walk the path of ?goodness? (extra N) and kindness will find / Their actions to be most ?appreciated? (extra E) by those their actions effect— / And indeed, their actions effect(s) (I don't think the S is meant to be there) the entire world.
Oh, and the last two lines - it's "affect". "Effect" is a noun.
Anyway, nice work! It was actually quite challenging, and I got rewarded with a lovely piece of writing. I love the first line, and the whole poem really made me think. |
 Kita 2009-04-24 . chapter 1 I like the approach. You process what you're reading, and as a result are forced to understand what it is that you're reading. Most people would probably just gloss over it otherwise.
Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn! |