This is beautiful and touchng. I really enjoyed it. Nice imagery.

It's nice to see something different. :) I like the examples and the tone.

I both liked and disliked the repitition of: "can you hear" although it was strong, it also weighed the piece down somewhat, especially toward the middle.

Other then that you have grat detail in this, and the narration was very strong. I also found it to be quite melodic. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.