|Reviews for What If?|
| Celena Black 1/4/13 . chapter 1
I'm writing this review here instead of 'Jonnie the Girl' because assumedly those who are interested in the alternative sequel have read the prequel and so won't spoil the story for them.
I really enjoyed 'Jonnie the Girl' but the ending was more than abit sudden and unexpected, it was just so jarring from the tone of voice used in the rest of the story, and quite matter-of-factual in the way jonnie explained and relayed R's death. I wouldn't call it blase but i would not describe it as an out pouring of grief either. Perphaps it because the story is categorised in the Romance and Humour section, which is fitting but it was also tragic. He died and the last line was 'God, she loved that man' - i mean, really? That phrase was used before when she was exasperated with him, it was fitting and amusing but like i said it was jarring. It's only once i finished it -in one sitting - that it occured to me that i don't usually like this type of plot, the make-up and then break-up of a relationship a hundred different times for various reasons both minor and major, but i ended up really becoming fond of your characters and your writing kept me going as well as the other relationships.
I didn't agree with R's death and the circumstances surrounding it with Monica and i have a feeling if your writing this alternate sequel, as an author who knows and cherishes these characters more than i ever could, don't either.
I don't know if it was constructive on not but i felt that i had to say something and it's not many a story that can induce me to do so. All the best in the rest of your writing and i hope any of what i have written does not discourage you. You wrote, i read and it caused a reaction.
| Guest 9/6/12 . chapter 1
I was so sad when you killed Ryder in the original. I couldn't understand why you did that. But I am so glad you put this up. Can't wait to read it.
| StaNdUPtomE 11/17/11 . chapter 6
An intresting what if. I'd like to see where it goes,
| belle 7/2/11 . chapter 6
Wow, that was awesome! Your writing is so funny. I had to hold in my laughter several times, my cheeks were beginning to hurt. I'm reading this in the middle of the night, that's why. LOL. I like your writing style. It's so simple yet you have a knack for stringing word together like poetry. The words are straightforward without the tiniest shred of self-importance that you find in other writer's works, especially when they know they're good. Keep it up! Good luck to you and hope you get more works published.
P.S. It's too bad I didn't get to read "Jonnie the Girl" when it was still on here for free. LOL. I've been reading FP for a long time now and I've seen your story but I never got around to reading it. It's truly a shame. It's alright, though, because reading this fic gave me a glimpse of your talent. All is well with the world. Good night! :)
| Everlasting Dreams 6/15/11 . chapter 6
Tell me why does Trent sound so cute ? 3 update soon :)
| AutumnMTC 5/30/11 . chapter 6
You've heard this a million times. No doubt about it. Hell, I don't even have to say it. You know what I want you to do next. But this isn't one of those bland and boring "plz update sooooonnnn" reviews or even the "I WILL MURDER YOU WITH A FORK AND A BEACH TOWEL IF YOU DON'T UPDATE SOON" reviews. Those aren't very classy, and get damn annoying after a while. So I'm not going to say it.
-badass head nod of understanding-
You know what I want, so hop to it! This is really good, and I'd like to see it completed befoire the end of the summer. So go. Go now. (I want to see more Ryder/Trent jealousy action anyway, and if you could personally throw in a scene where Ryder punches a wall of some sort, that'd be much appreciated. Like, legit. My friend and I find that HOT. But if not, that's cool. I'll still read your work withj a smile and a bag of popcorn.)
But in the meantime, I'm totally gonna go re-read the original story. You've got time. USE IT WISELY AND WRITE.
:D Thanks for being so awesome.
| rddekker 4/20/11 . chapter 6
You are so awesome for writing this :'(
| LeepingLy 3/2/11 . chapter 6
Dude, you have the gift of suspense.
Left us all hanging for I don't even know how long for this chapter.
Worth the wait, though.
Not gonna take forever on the next, are you?
| ChaseTheSunset 3/1/11 . chapter 6
HAHAHA! Thats funny xD
| Teayii 2/28/11 . chapter 6
I'd decided to check and see if you had updated, and I'm so happy that I saw this just a couple days after you've posted chapter 6. I'm really loving this story. Please update soon! x
| xkcbby 2/26/11 . chapter 5
B*tch! Monika can go suck a *. It cannot end this way!
I am utterly in love with your characters though I have hardly skimmed 'Jonnie the Girl' as a refresher. It has been so long since I've read of Jonnie or Ryder for that matter. I've given up on reading any more stories in pursuit of sports, but I got an update on this, and I couldn't resist. I sincerely hope you keep writing. If you published this or 'Jonnie the Girl' I'd buy it in a heartbeat-even if it was hardcovered and $40.
| jp2185tf 2/26/11 . chapter 6
aw. I loved this chapter. Thank you for updating.
| xkcbby 2/26/11 . chapter 6
I haven't read this yet, but I know for a fact it'll be good. Gosh, this is one of the saddest best stories ever. A sequal with Ryder? Oh lordy. I'm going to crash.
| LaMeO1 2/26/11 . chapter 6
hard to read in the sense that it's pretty crushing
i'm extremely glad you updated though
| Blondie Pants 2/26/11 . chapter 6
wow! love it. i feel like this trent thing will not end well, but i guess i'll find out soon.