|Reviews for Midnight|
| Erlkoenigin 5/21/09 . chapter 1
My favorite lines are "His teeth Were red from Eating.
| Chasing Skylines 4/25/09 . chapter 1
[He was as black as night,]
I think you could've thought of a stronger line than this. It's trite, and not very specific, either (night isn't pitch-black; nowadays, it rarely is).
[For he had an orange face.]
Awkward. You're saying he's as black as night, because he has an orange face? Are you saying that he's like the night in that he's dark colored, but his face is like the stars? I don't think that's what you intended.
[Black Crest. His eyes
Were gold as the Sun. His teeth]
Why is "black crest" and "sun" capitalized? For personification? If yes, there's no reason to. Personfication that doesn't relate to the prose isn't needed.
[Muscles twitching, thinking,
Running, blinking -
He is hunting.]
I liked this part, because of the string of verbs, which brought action and the last line had a definite note of conclusion and a sort of mysterious tone.
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| Faithless Juliet 4/25/09 . chapter 1
Great detail, I could really get a sense for the setting. Keep up the good work.