This was really interesting. Hot stuff ;) Literally and figuratively. I love the tension between them if it was her fearing death or the sexual desire of the man towards her. The sexuality was a great touch, I must say.

You are clearly a very accomplished writer. I enjoyed the symmetry of this passage - starting with water, ending with fire - and the swift characterisation you have managed to achieve without using the endlessly irritating 'information dump'. Your writing is paced just right; fast enough to hold the reader's attention, slow enough to paint a detailed picture. So I liked it.

- Gatsby