|Reviews for A Wise Man Once Said|
| Miss-You-Too 6/24/09 . chapter 6
I was really confused in this chapter. I'm not sure what was going on. Like Ace's reaction I kind a understand but not hers.
| Lanie Is 6/22/09 . chapter 6
:D I loved it. It's adorable. Aw.
Camp? Which means no updates?
| TammyS3 6/21/09 . chapter 6
Aussies for LIFE! Haha yes! I love this, this is grand! Update soon!
| sendmylovetothedancefloor 6/9/09 . chapter 5
another great chapter. ) i can't wait for the next one.
| MiniFeverency 6/7/09 . chapter 5
YOU'RE NOT WRITING TO AIR.
And I loved this chapter.
ACE GETS JEALOUS.
| Warhol 6/6/09 . chapter 5
m...I love the smell of drama.
Now I'm just dying for the next chapter!
| Miss-You-Too 6/6/09 . chapter 5
Uh oh. I sense drama.
| Swarlos 6/5/09 . chapter 5
So, I only caught a few grammatical errors in this chapter. Kudos! There were, however, two parts that were confusing.
The first was: "Wow, when my science teacher (Darn you, Mr. Johnson for that D. I’m still plotting. Don’t think you’re off the hook), Mickey, Mandy and my mom all claimed I was ‘childish and immature’ I laughed it off. Hey, it’s their job to call me names that obviously don’t apply to me when things go awry and their anger becomes too much to bear. I never took it to heart but now that I know even hot boys think I’m five, I’m upset."
If you removed the parenthetical insert while reading, the first sentence makes much more sense that it does with the insert. So, I suggest writing it as: "Wow, when my science teacher Mr. Johnson, Mickey, Mandy, and my mom all claimed I was 'childish and immature,' I laughed it off. (Darn you, Mr. Johnson for that D. I’m still plotting. Don’t think you’re off the hook.) But it's their job ..."
And second was: "He laughed and walked over to a couple of girls who were raising their hands, 'So, how about it, Charlie?' I whined, 'On a school night?' 'His parents aren’t home but much like mine when are they ever?' I nodded in understanding. 'So, please?'"
It seems like Mr. Stephens says "So, how about it Charlie?" as he's walking away, especially since you placed a comma after "their hands" instead of a period and then didn't hard return to separate Mr. Stephen's action from Mandy's words. And when you have "[Charlie] nodded in understanding" as a break between Mandy's monologue, it seems as though Charlie is saying "His parents aren't ... So, please?" There was alot of dialogue confusion in your other chapters.
But I loved the sudden accent change with Ace, Charlie's odd reactions and thoughts while in the tea house, the girls' informality with Mr. Stephens, and the entire party scene - the concluding cliffhanger especially.
| Miss-You-Too 5/29/09 . chapter 4
This story is awesome! It just keeps getting better! Things are moving pretty face for Charlie- but i'm sure you have something drastic in mind right? Right?
Well good day to you :D
| sendmylovetothedancefloor 5/28/09 . chapter 4
I love your story so far. ] I can't wait for the next chapter. D
| Lanie Is 5/25/09 . chapter 4
:D It was adorable. ;D
| Warhol 5/25/09 . chapter 4
I can't get enough of this story.
It's one of my favorites.
Keep up the fantastic work.
| Swarlos 5/25/09 . chapter 4
Aww ... This story is adorable.
I love Charlie. I have a best friend that's exactly like her. They're so similar, it's scary. And Ace - the mix of self-confidence and self-doubt is lovely. Plus, I find it refreshing that the character-list involves exchange students. Love diversity.
I'm a stickler for grammar and puncuation, though ... Might want to look into correcting that. And there were a few small places where the actions of some characters were a bit muddled. Need to clear that up.
| This girls best chica squid 5/14/09 . chapter 3
Oh, mel (the author of this gorgeous story-do ur hmwk ppl), this is really one of your best, I think! This was marvelous! Work on those typos tho, in other words send them 2 me b4 postin, babe! I applaud thee! Sry 4 such a boring and overall lame review; I'm on my iPhone and I'm retarded with the little touch screen!
Hope u didn't get 2 excited when u saw this message, it's only me!
Your Syd-pyd :P
| MiniFeverency 5/13/09 . chapter 3