Oh my God. I don't know where to begin. This needs to be published immediately. It's phenomenal.

"The sun banged on my window to wake me up." Creative sun imagery--it reminded me of a parent waking a child up in the morning to go to school.

"My soft palate." Nice touch!

"My heart pumping in the grass next to me--trying to army-crawl itself away." Heart-wrenching.

"It would not stay with me." God, this line almost made me burst into tears--it's so emotionally devastating and raw.

"Ugly and purple like a baby." Striking simile.

"And the bluebells, and the bluebells." Perfect ending.

I loved it,
-Isca