 ArekuKawaii 2009-05-16 . chapter 1I like the length because it is able to tell the whole story and you give lots of good imagery.
'and not a man of good
intentions.' I didn't really like these two lines because they seemed off of the flow. There were a few lines like that. But I liked that you were able to keep rhyming throughout the whole thing.
Good work
-Areku |