Btw, I forgot to say that I loved the title for the last chapter - Bullet For My Valentine is one of my favourite bands :D Have you heard of them? Or was the title pure coincidence?

Now, onto the actual review:
I'm not too fond of the lack of punctuation in this - I think a few commas here and there would help, because without them, this piece lost some of its flow and rhythm.

I do like how you've taken a different approach though, it's nice to get a change in technique. The whole, she wanted to say, but she said intead thing was very clever, and worked quite effectively.

Last line - beautiful. So simple, and yet so powerful. Loved it.

Love the alliteration - they weren't overdone, they added to the point of the poem, and they gave it an excellent rhythm. You really do have a knack with all these rhythms :D

Brilliant context, the speaker sounded almost (dare I say it?) bitchy in the last line. Through very few words, you manage to convey a sea of emotions, and describe a scene so that I can picture it in my own mind. Amazing.

I do wish all these poems didn't end in suicide though - I'm sure there are other ways to get out such situations! :P
Just kidiing, I still love your work

I like the bits in italics - they made a lovely contrast to the rest of the poem.

Word choice: excellent - "faded lyrics and the desolate picture they paint." So poetic, so vivid, so beautiful.

I like the second paragraph, it made me think of heaven a little bit. Wonderful imagery with the lines "bottle of capsules in salvation and a waterfall of gold."

The last lines in brackets were lovely as well, they concluded and added to the almost melancholy tone perfectly.

The context of this poem - brilliant. I adore the comparisons - very original. The situation in this poem felt so much more relatable to me, because this made everything seem much more real and not quite so aloof, if you know what I mean. A lot of other poems tend to make suicide sound like something that's only ever done in darkly lit chambers, full of weapons and such, but this - it just hits home so much faster because the reality of it is so much closer.

I think you managed to get the deepness through, though with that in mind, I don't think the last line worked too well. It just felt a little bit like the poem had been cut short - maybe a lack of detail? I don't know, it just didn't feel right to end it at that moment.

Anyway, once again, awesome work :)

This made me think of those chain letters I get, with all those stories and stuff - only better phrased and with more intelligent grammar :D

I quite like the first three lines, they had a really interesting rhythm. I also liked your descriptions - "thin red, bleeding forth from dead blue." Such incredibly imagery!

What I like most from this piece is undoubtedly the rhythm - it was consistent and well paced throughout. Great work!

This was really well done - you managed to retain a great flow and rhythm without needing to use rhymes, which I know from experience can be very difficult.

I like the concept of this poem, you manage to convey the point without ever actually saying anything out directly, which added to the almost dreamy tone of the poem.

I love the word choice - "rainbow of salvation" and "haze of technicolour" especally - they were both such vivid lines!

I'm not too fond of the formatting for the line "floats up u p u p ," because a)the comma is a space away, and b)it didn't really fit in. Maybe it's just me, but I thought it was a bit confusing - for some reason whenever I look at that, all I can see is 'up u pup' weird, I know :D

Apart from that insignificant nit-pick, I'm really enjoying your poetry - write on!

I really this poem, it was a great introduction into your anthology, and made me very intrigued.

You had a lovely flow, and the tone of the poem sounded almost like an extract from a story. I really liked that about it, because it felt almost bittersweet. However, you still managed to keep the poetic feel and flow, which was great.

The last line was a perfect ending, it gave an etra bit of emotion to the piece, which worked astoundingly well.

I have some hunches about what this colection will be about :P

(Review Marathon - link's in the profile)

oh my god.
yes, all those o's.

the first part is incredible, and the last part made me smile a little - which is morbid. but you have to admit, there's a sense of irony/comic relief there.

it would probably be more effective to change cd to record. well, to me at least - i hate using cd and tv and other abbreviations in poetry.

but i love the first trochee.
the second one has great imagery.
the third one brings a new theme in, but it fits.

I like the menitons of a lullaby with the theme of going to sleep permanently. Everything was very consistent and held with the idea.

with a bottle of capsules in salvation
and a waterfall of gold.

Love the descriptions. You write about things in a way that's wonderful to read; it's very different from what they really are, but describing them all the same.

-Peach/Kate, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)
Hope you enjoyed all the reviews. xD

I love the title. The double meaning is almost jaw-dropping. I love how powerful it is because I think I cringed when I read it.

No, this one isn't as deep as the others (like you said in the a/n), but I liked the realistic feel to it.

the last thing she thinks
is that she left a load of clothes
in the washer.

I think that the writing works because of how real this one felt. It's an interesting contrast between death and the mundane things in life.

-Peach/Kate

I like this particular one for dealing with all the insecurities people have. How easy it is to hurt someone with something we might say. And the consequences for the things that we say.

The imagery, again, was good. "thin red, bleeding forth from dead blue." I liked the contrast between the colors to describe the ribbons against her arms. Graphic, but wonderfully descriptive.

-Peach/Kate

I love your format for "up up up". I love it when authors play with format because it makes the poem more enjoyable and original. It looked great.

The imagery in the beginning was fantastic.

a rainbow of salvation
slides from its bottles
and through her lips,
and she grins as she downs
her last hope.

a haze of technicolor
swims through the tears

I have a clear image in my head for those lines and the description I thought was really original and vivid. Great job :)

-Peach/Kate

I love the couplets in this. It's a nice poetic feel to it, and it looks great in the poem. It separates the thoughts like they should be.

I like how the meaning to this is subtle. You could probably read this and not particularly see what it's about. Which I think for poems like this, is helpful. You can focus on the words just as much as the suicide.

(And I liked your writing for this. It was a step-by-step description that suited the idea.)

-Peach/Kate, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

ah, the connection to an inescapable addiction
ties in nicely to the inevitable feeling of hopelessness
and the talk of rainbow-colored haze is just ambiguous enough to leave us curious