"Oh, how we waste each heartbeat." What a heart-breaking lament.

I liked that you mentioned rose wine--it fits perfectly with the warmer weather that's here already.

"We never realised how transient a year could be." The word 'transient' makes this line so impactful--the nostalgic tone perfectly coincides with the idea that time passes far too quickly before our eyes.

:)

oh, this is lovely!
such a gorgeous tone/theme of poem. I love the watery sense, the roaming youthfulness... this is brimming [and full of the sky - ee cummings?]

the conversational tone is so effective, the beginning...
that morning -
you said to me, “the clouds
are great lips, pursed and wrinkled”

this rolls perfectly...
summer nights, swilling
beer in bottles down by the lake,
the water gorging itself on our legs,
and the yeasty smell of your skin,
and the next day -
berries for breakfast.
[NB. nice use of 'swilling' (!)I like picking up words.]
and the next day, and the next... it has a lovely sense of time.

you capture what it is that makes a year.
youth like a ripe plum - I love this poem.

one tiny POSITIVE CRITISISM: I don't think the stanza involving chickens particularly fits... it's beautifully written, but alters the imagery/ tone of the rest of it... you can fully disagree, but it seems very old, compared to the wine bar. perhaps that is the desired effect?!

such a brilliant, bright poem.

X

shitshitshit. there is so much here and yeah, yeah, i hear it.
"we never realised how transient a year could be", but even when it's more it's never enough.