Hey again, thanks for another story!

The silent Vinnie sounds like your typical Finn, it's easy to like him. And well, since Emily understands him she's got to be a decent person too, right?

Half of this story is a story of another couple which is not very directly related to the main plot. This feels a bit out of balance to my tastes. It's also very detailed, in a way that Emily probably couldn't have orally narrated it there and then to Vinnie.

Structurally, though, it makes me think of writing a story with a story in it and a third story within the second just so the third time makes it obvious that the thing is there to twist the mind. ;) Maybe if the thing were divided into three chapters, it'd be more digestable to have a whole middle distraction. But, as the author note points out, there's a personal interest in writing the middle story and the other parts are mostly just a surrounding for it that got out of hand. That purpose it serves fine. :)

Oh, and the ring plot device was cool. It was both a communication device, emotional heirloom and a final symbol of commitment and tension-breaker, tying the whole Emily-Vinnie thread together.

This story will be featured on Fictionista Workshop tomorrow as an example of excellent online fiction. Thank you for writing.

Hey,

I love your writing style!

Your characters are always very strong and you have a way with words young lady!

I love the feelings you described, the emotions. A thing I would have loved to see, is a bit more realism in the dialogue between Kara and Justing. Their fights seemed kind of... I dunno... something lacks. But everything else was so good.

I liked that Vinnie never uttered a single word, but still you manage to convey what he wanted to say and more.

You're very talented!

Good Luck!

Karla