An interesting ending it wasn't one of my more favorable endings, perhaps it went a little fast the ending, but other than that I like how it ended.

Ah! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! What's going to happen next?! I NEED to know! Update faster please!

T-T
Fang

Digory can't kick the bucket, I like the character. Great chapter things happened a little fast but good job.

Great, job.

This is so great, but perhaps it was a bit rushed? Or is there more to come? So many questions I've got to ask my self about this, except I can guarantee this fiction is way above and beyond my expectations on books, this one has been far one of my top 10. Great job

-Meaghen F

great story =D still but! enough with the cliffhangers!

This is a very intriguing world you have set up here. I'm interested to find out what happens next and curious about this Cauldron.

Update soon?

At the beginning of your story, I was under the impression that I was going to hear the tale of a young girl, maybe somewhere between 7 and 10. However, you see a young woman. I think that you need to give up your lovely description of your park (everyone knows what a feesable park looks like) and more on what the character is doing there and how SHE feels about it. Also, the dialogue I saw in the second chapter was very bland. There should probably be some discrepancies between her speech and theirs, if she's suddenly entered a magical world. She also seems extraordinarily calm upon entering a new world all by herself. Any woman would be near hysterics or, at least, freaked out to the point of talking to herself outloud. You exposition can, from there, be introduced bit by bit. I also took a bit of issue with your boy character that I saw briefly at the beginning of chapter two. The archetype of pirate is a devilishly handsome young man, or at least a man able to take care of himself. This is far more acceptable and rational than a little boy being captain of a willing pirate crew. This needs a little more thought, especially because pirates are generally a rougeish lot. If you had a specific reason for this - such as the pirates humoring a rich noble by pretending to plunder and pillage - I would be more inclined to read ahead. However, I hope you take my advice to heart - I would love to hear more of your ideas.

A little bit of a cheer up for me =D after loosing in the finals to red team... Anyways that was somewhat unexpected, but it was a good idea.

err I'm sorta bad at criticizing, I guess I could do a suggestion? If I do had to say something I guess it would be it would be better if there were some more characters with a bigger role, Since it's really only circling around Jill, Digory and Marcell and I'd like to see some forks in the road for some of the characters..

Anyways about time for Digory and Jill! Other than my suggestion great job.

Yeah, I think this was your fastest update and my most favorite chapter so far! Good Job.

You sure like to do cliff hangers and you know what... I don't like them at all!! but no one does. I thought at first maybe Jill and Digory now im not sure...

Gread Job!

RR

Very nice vocabulary, and strategic writing style. The writing gives me the image of a grandmother reading to her grandchildren from a story book. You gave sufficient details to allow me to envision the place entirely. However, I must admit, I have NEVER been to a park with pond--a lake, yes, but never a pond...

Aww a cliff hanger =( and it was getting to a good part lol I guess that's what cliff hangers are. Anyways thanks for the update.

I am utterly in love with this story! Please keep your spirits up and continue this adventure. I'm hooked. :]