So Cute~
Update Soon.

Hey hey,

Thought I'd leave a review. Er, so far, it's cute.

And I think I'm lesbian crushing on zoey, I always did like a girl with spunk.

I don't have enough analytical powers to give you a brilliant constructive review, so I'll leave it at here for now.

-hugs-,
Cliche **

I love the plot of this and i love it's originality!

Very good story hehe. im going to read more hehe
Read my stories and poems hehe :D

Haha. Gwen is awesome. Almost as awesome as the summary. :D

Writing's a teeny bit rough, but you'll learn to polish it with practice!

This is funyy!

LOL. I love chapter 2 :D
Though I think I messed up editing a few lines there so... =.= gah! sorry...

Cole is so freaking adorable! I want a Cole :D XD

Aki

You've got a cute little protagonist here in Gwen! Spunky for sure. I'm having a little trouble reading this because you keep switching tenses from past to present to past again. What I mean by that is you switch from something like "I was" to "I will." It gets a little distracting.

Also, in the prologue, I noticed a lot of background and history (like ages and names). I know it's easy to get it all out of the way at the beginning, but nobody remembers it. It's best to give the background as the characters are naturally introduced in the story.

I really liked this line (and I thought you should've begun the story with it--it was much snappier) and the rest of the paragraph, "At the tender age of nine, Gwen Hamilton was already capable of swearing." This is great: it tells me almost everything you spelled out in the first paragraph--it tells me she has siblings she blames, that she's precocious, and that she's full of surprises. Does that make sense? Practice writing lines like that. Ones that "show," but don't "tell." You'll hear that a lot.

Keep up the good work! :)

omg!! you scared me, i thought you really were going to be amputated! i was thinking of all these questions like why in the world are you getting amputated and are you gonna be all right and everything. you nearly gave me a heart attack! hahaha

but i'll be looking forward to what changes you will be making! :D

thanks for letting us know!!

OMG i love it. i just read all of the three chapters and they are the best. PLEASE PLEASE eep writing and posting fast

this is good...

Lol, teletubbies... I remember back when I was younger I used to watch the teletubbies nearly every day lol :P

I just love your narrator's voice!

So fresh and unique, good job on that.


On the other side, you should really try to throw in some more descriptions.

Descriptions of her friends, the school. (not paragraphs and paragraphs mind you, but enough for the reader to get a visual idea)

IT would help to move the story along without speeding it up too much.

Try not to go overboard, just try throwing in a few descriptions at a time until you get the hang of it.
I have no doubt that you will. :D

Good luck writing this!

Until the next update,

~nicola

This is a really great story!

Lol! Loved the chapter! Can't wait to see how they come together!