Ok, so I know that this isnt your final draft and bla..bla..bla..

But you really seem to be getting really reckless with the content you release on FP. I could barely understand what was going on due to the constant Run-On Sentences.

You should at least respect Fiction-Press enough to edit it before you release it. And if you dont care about what people think of it, why are you releasing it?

Btw, look at the completed pic of Anony on the forums...and while your on the Alzandyre site...FINISH READING MA STORY! xD!

So... I'm just reviewing to say that I really like your stories. The way you write them is interesting -- they're practically ready-made for becoming a manga or anime, which I haven't seen before. The characters are also very likeable.

The only problem I have is the whole Gabriel being a 'she' thing. I'm not saying you should change it or anything, but I keep getting confused when Gabriel is mentioned as 'she' because I'm used to him being male. It might just be me though.

Hm, interesting plot, and itami bieng inside Zeke makes it simpler to follow. Good.

my one complaint is that you overuse your "Chibi/Anime" Styled comedy (Gabriel/Medusa's fight with Ivy for example), which sort of separates the plot a bit, if you understand what i mean (probobly not lol, im not describing it well). Its fine on fictionpress i guess since all the chapters aren't released right away, but if you plan on getting it published i suggest re-editing it, and taking out alot of the anime inspired scenes, or at least shorten them.

Besides that, you have a interesting plot going on, but id suggest trimming the fat a tad.

Although many manga fans may like that typ of story, so i guess some decision making on your part is needed of what typ of audience you want this story to be directed towards, and im guessing you already made said decision, so ill get out of yer hair :P.

I read teh chapter =D..and yes that spelling mistake was on purpose
Id get sidetracked explaining why i love the word "teh" :P

ANYWAYS

I continue to see the repeated sentence format, which can get a bit annoying "he blablabla as he blabla bla" "He blablabla before blablabla" and there are a couple of run on sentences. but i do like your influence rule your story makes sense now XD, although i do not think the influence rule fits Dead Facade, Since he can essentialy do ANYTHING, and youve described influence as bieng limeted to an extent, as it gives a certain power to everybody, dead facade power gives him ALL powers.

Oh and on a side not that involves R/L xD.. i noticed something
You tell other people to act polite..yet your not very polite yourself xD

and thats my review...Shmoop.

ASFEFR:JKGRJHIGBUHVBHFVBERNVBR

LOL I knew medusa was gabriel from the beggining XD, the gold eyes/clothing and the fighting with hexo were dead giveaways. lol

My one problem with this chapter was the candy thing at the beggining...wasnt the right time for humour.