The beginning is really cool. Particularly because "and then there was light" is kind of a famous line. You know, from the Bible. Anyway, it was a neat beginning that really set the tone.

I love your line arrangement and stanzas. They look nice and they compliment the rhymes.

Your title/summary are genius. I liked this before I had even read it because of the summary. I love the imagery and the idea of it. Very original. :)

-Peach/Kate, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)

i love the almost childish tone to this,

it's raw and full of indignance (not a word, darnit.)

"crank that light dark room girl,"

got to me-i absolutely love the way it rolls off my tongue.

Ha i like it. It is a little weird and could be taken totally the wrong way...unless thats how you meant it? Because what I am pulling from this...the speaker is telling someone that they won't have sex with them...? And if I am totally off base I am so sorry. Becaue I suppose it could also just be about pulling away from people...I would be interested to know what you are saying with it.

It is good. I hope I didn't insult or offend. I do that sometimes.

Truly,

Twyla Cole

I LOVE THIS. Faves all the way!