It was a little inconsistent at some points (switched to third person randomly at one point), and I swear Brad is alternately called Parks and Parker, and this was super cliche and a tad unbelievable, but it was cute. I'm glad xoxluurve added this to our c2.

aww thats cute. brads so sweet

NOW, I totally like this...It's so not a cliched ending...How nice...wonderful...that the one u love proposes to u...that's so sweet...
Round of applause and standing ovation!

Very funny, great job. I loved the Lady Beckett tie :D

Awh, :D So sweet, makes me wanna be engaged to be married to a hot guy too!

i think this paragraph is really confuzing:

"My brother is Lucifer, no really. Not the devil one, my parents just have a freak-naming streak. Lucifer, or Lu as I call him is a real devil. He’s tall, obnoxious, loud, mouthy, perverted, and a total ladies man. He’s smart and witty, which is sort of ironic because he has a degree from Harvard, he just never bothers to use it."

if you just changed some words around, it could be a lot more clear and easier to understand. like this for example:

"My brother is Lucifer. My parents just have a freak-naming streak and decided to name him after the devil. But, Lucifer, or Lu as I call him is a real devil." and then go on with the original


this part:

"Bradley Parks is also my other brother’s best friend. I don’t know how the hell he did it, but my brother some how got to be popular. Maybe it’s because ever since Lu hit puberty he’s had the entire city eating out of his hands and, now has moved on to bigger things (like say, the world), everyone, and I mean everyone has focused their sights on the second Beckett to ever grace this town, Julian Beckett."

is also pretty confuzing because you talk about Lu in the middle of a paragraph about Bradley and Julian. Maybe if you you talk about how Lu is really popular first, and then introduce Julian as the "second Beckett" and Bradley as his best friend? But at the same time, if Lu was king before, you shouldnt call Julian the seecond because Bradley is whom you use the anaogy with at the end.


in the paragraph that starts with "I put Jill back and sit up" ahead was spelled "a head"


overall i loved this story and thought it was great! =)

Wow this was so cute, and while it was cliche, it was different. I'm not exactly sure how to describe, but for starters it was much more sound as far as diction, grammar, syntax and the like go. It was very cute as well, and overall, it was just better than the average cliche, so kudos to you! This is going on my favs, and usually, I don't put a story on my favorites the first time I read it, and I'm not to sound boastful or anything when I say that, but it's the only way I know how to compliment you on your writing, since obviously words have left me now that I am done reading this. This was wonderful

AW.
I love this story. It's so cute. It truly is what every girl wants. It's adorable.

NO crap the stupid thing deleted.. no. Arg now I have to write it out again damn it. Well I'll just give you an overview of the review. I started it when I got to the fifth paragraph, if you can figure out why I loved the fifth paragraph then kudos for you, if not then arg. When you said the word Loveless I decided then and there to favorite the story. I loved the part about Ritsuka and now my review energy has run out so enjoy. You had better love me for this.
~Kit Yami

wow i like the cliche of this story. superb:)

"Well **ity do da, shittity yay!"

best line ever :D

That was SO adorable! I absolutely loved it. You've got a whole bunch of clichés in there but that's what makes it so super-amazing! It's awesome.
-AG :)

Great job with this; the ending was a little far-fetched, but I'd love to see them actually five years down the road and still together. Thanks for posting!

Aww, so cute and cliché, but still amazing writing! Loved it ^^

! OMG! THAT WAS SO FLIPPIN CUTE!!