Along with at least most of the others who have probably read this story, I just wanted to say that you have done a brilliant job in relaying this story, especially as it was in just three weeks! Of course, there are some grammatical/spelling errors but those can be fixed rather easily. The one thing I wanted to comment on most particularly in regards to possible improvement was the ending. I feel as though it almost just cuts off and you don't get to know much more about Zero or the defeat of the Destroyers or even how Callie and Oatmeal ended up on Earth again and what their arrangements are. Other than that, I feel as though the character development was wonderful-you really feel like you get to know Callie, Oatmeal, and Jelly as the story progresses and the plot line was wonderful. This story really captures the imagination and I hope to find more from you in the future! :D

Hey there!

For pounding out a story in three weeks-ish, I was very impressed. I'm also appologizing for being incommunicado for the last little while... I have limited access to internet this summer. That being said, in my short amount of internet goodness, I just wanted to let you know that I'm also a big fan of this story, and I liked the way it ended!

Awesome job!

Hello there!

Ok... so I completely realize that you wrote this as a challenge to yourself to see what you could write in 3 weeks. So... that being said, I have to tell you that I think this was great. Very quirky... and quite humorous. Not Laugh Outloud Funny... but you know, a chuckle here and there. However, even though this was a big of a project, I am hoping that at some point in the future, you will come back and edit this. Why? I think it's quite a nice gem... you clearly gave a lot of thought to the whole Galactic Unit idea and setting so if for no other reason, out of respect to your story... right?

Anyway, for when you do edit, I have a couple of comments: one) grammar and spelling. I'm assuming that you wrote each chapter without rereading them before posting--with your 3 week deadline, totally understandable, but it does mean that there were a lot of mistakes that need to be checked over. two) I'm having a hard time believing that Oatmeal was so easy to forgive Zero that 5 months later he is willing (and even happy) to be with Callie once again. I realize that some sort of feeling developed between them in their travels but Oatmeal has spent 20 years viewing Zero as the monster under his bead... right? It would be nice to either have an extra chapter showing some of the process about Oatmeal's acceptance of who Callie really is OR to expand the epilogue a little to say what happened from Zero wakening to the "5 months later" mark.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. Please believe that even though I just said this, I truly did enjoy this story... as a matter of fact, it's going under my favourites. And you, too. I think you are a very creative author. ^.^

Wow, that was an awesome story. Very inventive and thoroughly compelling. I read chapters 3-26 in one sitting! :-)

I was a little disappointed not to witness or even hear about what Zero did to seal the rift, but on further reflection that really wasn't the point of the story - the story's about Callie, Oatmeal, and Jelly. So bravo for a great story, especially one written in just three weeks!

The break got me accustomed to 'Oatmeal', so it's not as distracting this time. Sure loving it, that I've got so much to read now

So did Oatmeal learn the truth about why his home planet couldn't be saved? My hypothesis was that since they used destroyer tech it wouldn't have been worth saving since destroyer tech corrupts everything.

Hopefully the GU will stop acting like idiots and consider people who have access to Destroyer tech and strange shadows in space actual threats.

And how will they fix Ultimate Four if he was corrupted using Destroyer tech?

Interesting story, I have to admit it's not one of my favourites, the idea was good but it was a bit too inconsistent and jumpy making it hard to connect with anyone but Oatmeal and maybe Jelly.

Hmm, I think the issue with the story so far, is that everything is going by so fast and the characters aren't remaining consistent. The Commissioner has seemed like a competent individual so far even if she's been behind by a few steps and now she's coming off as a sulking child.

The Commander has gone from thinking Oatmeal had potential and allowing him to take part of a raid to hating him and gunning for him even when they're learning of a major world changing conflict.

Oatmeal... well, in his defense he is conflicted; his brother or the government he believes destroyed his home planet. So him I find believable but at the same time it is pulling me out of the flow of the story.

There's naivity then there's being willfully idiotic, Oatmeal is toeing the line. I mean, he knows what his brother is capable of, allowing rich folk from a government he doesn't agree with live is definitely not something he'd do.

WHY DIDN'T THEY SEND THE ULTIMATES BEFORE?! I mean, even if they couldn't keep up, they could've at least had backup. Shoddy planning.

I thought Callie thought he was crass and mean and a horrible person, but now she's happy his 'teasing humour' hadn't left.

And Steve is ridiculous if he thinks the souls of any of his people would be happy/proud when he uses illegal destroyer tech and does the same thing he accuses the government of doing.

you have a bit where she asks ' ‘But will wonder Ultimate be enough?'' instead of one.

and why is the commander so sure that Callie and Oatmeal are important? He's going hard for a gut feeling, especially since I'm not sure if he thinks they're going to be the cause of the destruction or the saviors.

Why do I have the feeling that this was a very large miscalculation by Jelly? Not going to end well at all. And Oatmeal just left Callie with the psychopath and a chubby little boy, i don't know, i feel like he just dropped the ball there.

Got to say, I hope we have more from Callie's POV because right now she is officially annoying, LOL, I'm aware that I'm reacting in a way that probably shows double standards or something since we've had male heros who were meant to heroines for no reason but it's like, when Callie does it, I expect more from her. I think it also doesn't work because of the time frame, normally I can forget that the main characters haven't known each other for that long, but since the whole thing happened over a period of two days before and she's only seen him as a mean guy AND she seems determined to bring out the worst in him, I can't buy her claiming to believe he could be better than he is.

Oatmeal is hurting my heart just a little bit, I mean, to have an older brother that manipulative, sheesh, especially now that we learn that it was an outlier group that set up the destroyer tech on his home planet, I really don't think his relationship with his brother is going to get better. Especially if Callie is Zero.

I find the fact that you manage to make Oatmeal more sympathetic then the confused retiree even though he's so rude to her is a skill but at the same time it might back fire. Because as a reader, I'm already assuming she's Zero, and then you add in the fact that she's coming off really unsympathetic here, it might lead to bigger problems when/if they try to have a relationship.

LOL at him saying her face was off putting though I guess that is true, hahah, trying to make the 'aww, how cute' face with the 'I want to bust you upside your head' face can't be cute.

Going a bit happy with the flashbacks huh? lol, not sure how If eel about them yet. I mean, they work but they sort of mess up the flow, but gives backstory with action instead of just talk.

Also, the jumping POV bits are a bit iffy, I get it since it's fairly common in sci-fi but it does sort of mess up the flow.

Oh, and this is a few chapters back but LOL at his freedom fighter brother/terrorist. I mean, logically everyone's terrorist is someone else's freedom fighter, but the minute it gets as violent as it does and attacks innocents, you're no better than the corrupt government you're trying to overthrow.

On one hand, she's right, he's being a jerk, on the other hand he had his whole planet destroyed Romulon style [or is that Vulcan style?? Either way ala the new Star Trek style] by his hero.

I mean, on a scale of one to ten being a filthy rich alien who's bored even if you don't remember you're a filthy rich alien but think you're just a ditsy trust fund baby, rates last.

He should've at least bought her some markers or something, lol, if she was entertaining herself,she wouldn't have to annoy him.

Damn, I had started the review for the last chapter already, got caught up in the story, forgot I started it, clicked the review option and was gifted with the sight of what I had already written flash before me, *taunting* me, then going to a blank screen. And I mean, yeah, lol, I'll still review but I bet you any money, what I had written before would've been better. The things I accidentally get rid of always are. -sigh-

Okay, 1. forget what I said in that last review about contacting the families, my fingers moved faster than my brain and i clicked submit or something without it fully comprehending that you dealt with that.

2. I thought the alien looked like a jelly donut? Jelly donuts and teddy bears have very few things in common for me aside from the fact that they normally aren't viewed with fear. Unless you're on a diet, and that's more self inflicted.

Um... That shut down thing is really interesting to me, i was expecting some 'Firefly' movements and she'd turn all kickass out of nowhere, the fact that her brain just seemed to shut down and her body seemed to be an actual robotic thing is creepy. You have a thing about making people vessels of some sort and then showing their human side. Like everyone else may view them with a broad stereotype witch, geeky video game girl, holy relic and then you humanize them all the while making the thing that makes people objectify them unique and a part of their charm.

Of course, I may be jumping to conclusions but that's okay too, lol.

Gotta say, you never wait to jumpstart the action do you? Lol, they put into place one of the stupidest precautions ever without beefing up security before hand, now they have people destroying their security so now they have to call in all their forces which means that the cRIMS will be all up on that and it'll be like stealing candy from a baby and now Callie has a voice in her head that is directing her actions. Poor dear, lol.