Love love love this! My favorite lines: "shape ourselves around each others naked forms/the triangle of the pelvis, the square of the chest/the crescents of the breasts". One thing that I thought disrupted the flow a little bit was the line "breathing through each others skin as if through muslin". For some reason, the "as if" part made me stop a little bit, like a little hiccup. Maybe you just make it "breathing through each other's muslin skin" or something to that effect? I think a metaphor might work a little more here for the mood you're going through. However, I really enjoyed this poem! :)

"I cup my compact like you
cup
my chin when I am tired and scared."

- this is such a lovely tonal beginning to the poem. I like the way you create the impression interrupted speech; not un-flowing [it flows beautifully] but stilted and tripping as if with real difficulty.

"shape ourselves around each others naked forms -
the triangle of the pelvis, the square of the chest,
the crescents of the breasts -"

this is nice. could almost take out the beginning the's: almost interruptes the rythmn, halts the poem slightly. It's such beautiful imagery, though.

this is lovely.
I've noticed-
empty plates and
strawberries.
edwin morgan, yes?

I think I would like the line arrangement better in stanzas. Have you thought of breaking it into stanzas? In some parts of the poem, it seemed like it should be separated.

I loved the imagery of "breathing through each others skin as if through muslin." The use of word muslin was so pretty and I loved the picture I got in my head from that. :D

Nice job,
-Peach/Kate, from the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)