Okay. Just finished Chapter 5. I was showing my father the site, and we went over to this story; we read Ch.1 and literally, we looked at each other in surprise and were all "woah" so I finished it.

It's cliched, but well done. Surprisingly well done. One thing, though, I found that the flow of writing was disturbed by the multitude of short sentences. Short sentences are good, but you have to vary them so that it doesn't become too monotonous. For example, "He dropped her ankle and lifted his leg to stomp on her rib cage." could become "Dropping her ankle, he lifted his leg to stomp on her rib cage." Too many sentences begin with pronouns, you see. =] Only complaint!

So... I'm going to look forward to Fridays! =] I shall see you then!

Cheers,
~writingpistachio

Huh. Quite cliche but enjoyable.

This is a very interesting story. Please keep writing. I can't wait to read more. pdate soon. I really like it. The character names you used are different (in a good way so no worries. This is a good start. The story is very eye catching. Keep writing like this and you'll do great.

Also, please read my stories: /s/2667986/1/Falling_from_Grace

XOXO
xXDemons-and-AngelsXx

Hello, interesting start! I'm curious about Aurora, how did she get her powers? I noticed you have several partially finished books posted, you shouldn't give up on your stories. Keep at them! Looking forward to reading more!

Interesting, i like it :)