Man*sniffs, sniff, cry* that was...*ahem* well, it was something I'm never going to forget! Okay, I got a couple of things that I liked about this chapter! First of all, I love the quote you started with! It tiead in like directly to the story!I love how you are able to go back and forth, hwile at the same time keeping the reader in the loop so to say! I liked the realism of it was well, she didn't somehow get better out of nowhere, yah know!?

Somehow you were able to incorporate a little bit of comedy to! But you might wanna slow down down the pacing just a tad bit, plus the charcters didn't have much of a speaking role...that's about it though!

Later!

~SD

wow...my goodness...i thought this one-shot was brilliant. i thought the way that the flashbacks created another level of depth in the story, and it helped me to relate to the protagonist a little more. this helped me be more emotionally involved in the story because of that added depth. i felt for the girl and i swear i almost cried because it was so sad. i thought it also flowed really well and the pace perfect. you managed to pick the most appropriate moments or images to coincide with the present time and this helped me to picture exactly what was going on at that time. it was such a heartbreaking tale. argh can't put it into words. but seriously. good. =)

Full of angst; the perfect one-shot. The sadness and regret is ripe, the emotion is strong and the story is easy to relate to. I love the last bit about the walls; to me it provides an outlet, the chance for her to see some redemption for herself, but she can no longer hope or find faith in such signs. There is nothing that can substitute a change in attitude more than time. Thanks for the read and keep up the good work!

The flow of words is very natural; sometimes it almost sounds like a poem. I find that it holds certain harsh truths that are fearlessly told, and at the end of it I felt much sympathy toward the old woman.

Wow, so intense. You never know how things go..and how they affect you. Brilliant.