| Reviews for Model |
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Vancelle 7/24/09 . chapter 1Hm. I'm not sure about this one. I think it's too short Even though I get an idea of what you're talking about, I think it'd be better if you elaborate. If you're going for bluntness, you could make it longer and still make it feel blunt by the word choice. 'Her personality? Steer clear.' - I like those lines. They say a lot without being too wordy. |
RawrEllieMayMightBeADinosaur 7/23/09 . chapter 1I love how blunt this is. It's just straight to the point, no bullshit, you know? the first line was a little awkward, 'a model distinct', doesn't make much sense to me. however, i could just be missing something. nice job :) |
Said Author 6/4/09 . chapter 1Ooh, I really liked this! Loved the structure of it because it shows the clear-cut thoughts-it's direct to the point but the flow is still smooth. I didn't really dislike anything... But I also liked the way you organized the lines. It starts with "model", goes with "her", a point, then more on "her" (she), and then back to model. I think that way it brings more of a story to it. Awesome job! :} |