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Poems that don't rhyme have always amazed me...poems that don't rhyme and are really GOOD I never forget. Yours just made that list. This is awesome:)

wow... i mean, omg.

you have SO MUCH POTENTIAL!

if only i could write like that...

its kind of like poetry, but not really.

its SO COOL!

you need to write more. for me! please!

This works very effectively as a monologue. Very emotional and honest. The last four lines sum up the whole thing very effectively.

This seemed a bit long, you could probably cut out a few of the less strong lines, but overall good job. Keep writing!

Very nice. This monologue is very heartfelt. I love the line about the firend and the slave, that was a nice touch.

Loving the 'Open your eyes' line as well. I always think that the mark of a good monolouge is when it can be expressed in diferent ways; when there can be multiple interpritations and you've certianly got that here.

Well done. All the best. l x