wow, powerful lines here, the "stomp" part, the everything. the visuals are awesome, you can really see this girl, and I also love this line:

"inhale smoke, exhale poetry"

i love it. and the end is so bitter, so... sad.

"And I saw what they did with it, saw them eat it." Brilliant. I love the idea that love is cannibalistic.

"But all we succeeded in doing was tearing apart ourselves." Wow. I love this line - it's so mind-blowing. :D

"Soft hair that I touched once when you were asleep." I really like this line - it's refreshing to see the speaker's subtle 'deviant' behaviour.

"You put on your sex-appeal like a Halloween mask." Cool simile.

wow, this was an amazing poem. I LOVE the ideas in it, the use of metaphor, the metaphor about metaphor, the amazing visuals, and everything. hands down, awesome. i don't read or write much poetry anymore, but this is inspiring!

The 'you tie her hands' stanza was AMAZING. The death imagery, the music playing in the background, the things this other person doesn't understand, I mean honestly, it's all so FASCINATING. :D

P.S. The "caramelized popularity" part was a nice touch.

"Where girls take matters into their own hands." This line is infused with realism and modernity. Very nice. :)

"Divising ways to tear apart the universe and cultivate its bones." Brilliant line. Men, in this sense, become people who seek to gain power over all things-how very patriarchal. The 'bones' part reminded me of the biblical creation story (i.e. eve is made from adam's rib).

An interesting take on life. Great imagery and tone. Each line has its own power. Awesome work, keep writing.

Really beautifully written. You're nature and weather references are not only eloquent, but simply well placed. There is a good balance between emotion and imagery, and they reflect each other perfectly. Seems like a simple enough task in poetry, but not many people cannot balance them (there's usually more of one than the other, and their message is skewed because of it). I really liked this a lot, you're a good writer. Keep it up.

"You can't understand the words I whisper." It's sad to think that many people are afraid of poetry because they feel like it's 'beyond' them. The irony at the end is cute-obviously, the man is going to have to get over his fear of poetry if he's going to love a poetess.