|Reviews for Future Zero: The Extropian Saga|
| TorgoTheWhite 11/22/09 . chapter 1
Are you referring to the Chinese manned space program with the same name when you talked about the Shenzhou Combine?
| Michael Panush 6/13/09 . chapter 2
This was a pretty good chapter, with a nice space battle at the end. It was cool to see Iktomi smashing apart an enemy fleet. I would have liked some more descriptions on what was going on, giving me an idea of what it looked like with all the ships being dragged into the black hole and so on. Also, the dialogue issue in the first chapters seems to have popped up again. The characters all sound very similar, particulary Iktomi, who doesn't really have a unique voice, when he really should. He's a cool character, but he talks just like everyone else, seemingly breaking into exclamations for no reason early in the story, while every other time he was incredibly calm. I think if you fix those issues, giving a more detailed look at how things like deep space battles and planetary gunfights look and feel, and make the characters a bit more distinct, like the terraforming guy complaining about the generic planet, which was a nice touch, this will be a very compelling story. Good job and I look forward to the next one!
| K. Hopkins 6/9/09 . chapter 1
This was an excellent beginning, definately a very interesting setting and some mind boggling technology and terminology which is very similar to what I've read in orion's arm. I'm interested to see where this is going.
Just one spelling correction:
“What an idiot,” Zhu heard Eric Zann mutter to himself. He walked over to the keypad, and inserted his finger into the device to interface directly with it. Zann stood silent for a few minutes, ...butt... Zhu knew what he was doing.
But not butt.
Good job though
| Michael Panush 6/8/09 . chapter 1
That was a good introduction, but I think it had a few issues. You toss around a lot of technical terms which I can't quite figure out, even in context. If there was a glossary or something, or they were described just a little better,there wouldn't be such a problem. Also, the descriptions of the characters seem a little standard, and I can't quite get a good picture of them in my mind. 'A female of Asian descent' gives me some idea, but it's still not a distinct picture. Finally, the switch into technobabble twoards the end, all the talk about the stuff from the future, was quite confusing, and I'm still not sure what to make of it. Maybe you can toss out a 'the bottom line is...' line or something. If you can fix those issues in the future, this will be a very good story and I love the ideas behind it. I look forward to the next one.