Stunning.

I loved these lines:
"I'm the shadow, the forbidden fruit blooming like a jasmine."

and of course the ending,
that was so powerful and moving.

"What's the point of having a heart if it's always hollow?"


Perfect.

"What's the point of having a heart if it's always hollow?" It may be empty at the moment, but only because the girl in the poem was not the speaker's soulmate, so all he must do is wait for 'The One' to appear. :)

Wow. This is entirely black and white with a little grey at the end (the last stanza). The stanza that starts "Our time is short..." and "-We won't,..." reminds me of a self-fulfilling prophesy. And I absolutely love the second to last stanza and all of the contradicting references. Beautiful work.

The use of 'Alas' was such an evocative sigh during the piece. The first half, before the 'Alas' details a softer picture of this women, and the love you feel for her. Whereas after the Alas the story takes on a harsher note. The narration is less understanding of the situation.

"What's the point of having a heart it it's always hollow" - Loved that ending. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.