Nice.
The sun is a star, so s the narrator a tree in a world with no sun? :)

Good haiku. I don't think it had as much impact as I would have liked, but it was great anyway! Write on.


~Anna~

...is it possible to criticize a haiku? Perhaps as possible as it is to critique nature... hmm...

it's nice. it leaves you with a kind of empty feeling inside, a longing feeling. i hope you find it.

I find it difficult to give criticism for haiku because quite often there are no real flaws, they're just too subjective. It really depends on the kind of haiku you're trying to write. For example, I thought this haiku was elegant in its simplicity, therefore I have no criticism. I'm rambling and wasting your time, sorry about that, but I do very much like your haiku.

It has a nice flow of imagery, and great bond between words...You've done a great job...



-LittleLoser-