To the beginning there were a few mistakes in grammar but not a whole lot, perhaps two significant ones. The structure of the world really does continue to interest me and I enjoyed the segment which explained a part of its setup in more detail. Sort of reminds me of communism and I wonder if this is a show of such a political idea's potential success as I have yet to see anything deeply worrying about the confined world in which the characters dwell. Speaking of the characters, YAY AIDAN! I'm glad she's pretty much guaranteed to play an important role in this increasingly fascinating plot. At the moment I'm really curious about Kyle's dream-thing and think that it was very well written as far as a snippet of a tale of abuse. I keep formulating questions and theories about the Locusts and their story and await the answers with enthusiasm.

There's a note from the editor at the end of /One/. I don't know if that's intentionally left or not but I thought it was worth mentioning. Anyway, to improve the chapter, there remain a few grammatical errors. They don't really distract from the reading since they are minor but they are there. However, what did trip me up was the formatting since some paragraphs are "attached" to others instead of double-spaced like the rest. As for the story itself, I am very much intrigued. Reading of Aidan, I am curious to know more about her and cannot help but wonder what role she will come to play if at all. At the same time, I hope to learn more and more about Kyle so I can develop a stronger opinion on his character. The futuristic/apocalyptic world in which this takes place excites me because it has so much potential. From what I've read, I adore the plot and am immensely eager to see it progress. I look forward to twists, turns, revelations, and perhaps even how Kyle changes as a character over time. I'm not sure what will happen and that's why I look forward to the next chapter. Keep writing!