This was superbly written. I love the way you write, giving everything such a surreal, dream-like quality. It feels like I'm reading a dream written in text.

I like the repetition of all the oddities; "One of her eyes lay on her left breast, looking, watching, crying. It cried all over the plane ticket, and red ink spilled onto the security person's hand. Violent red ink."

I also particularly loved, "This one had a shotgun strapped to his leg and a hat strapped to his head and a whistle strapped to his mouth and a moustache strapped to his face."


Your good grammar is very refreshing after reading several less-than-neatly written stories by other authors.

The only thing that bothered me is that I was hoping all the little unusual quirks of your story would pull together and make sense in the end. I read and re-read it... if you did pull them together and cause them to mean something, I missed it ]: Which I am pretty bummed about, because I really do love this story.

Unfortunately, I can't exactly say I understand where or why Olvier Bates character leaves off and Mitch Sampson's character picks up.

That is my major and only complain.
Otherwise, this is written quite brilliantly.

_
Katie