I could not reply until I reread the story. Freaking intense. I like the irregularities of Jeramiah's thoughts, which makes this story very thought provoking.

I think the structure of this piece is quite intriguing - it just wants to make you keep reading. You're writing has a nice flow to it, which encourages great readability - theres no really awkward phrasings etc. that snag the story. Interesting idea, also. A story I'm glad I clicked on.