|Reviews for I must speak|
| Isca 7/9/09 . chapter 1
FORM: I think the poem would flow better if it looked something like this:
"My words echo loudly,
and I wish they would break
your ears, as your lips whisper
"I am too loud."
I wish they would crumble too."
Anyways, that's just a suggestion. The free-verse nature of this poem was wonderful, but with a bit of tweaking, the lines wouldn't feel as choppy. Despite how short this poem is, it carries a lot of meaning and emotion, so kudos for being able to convey so much in only five lines.
TONE: The speaker's angsty tone definitely allowed the reader to respond to this piece in an emotional manner. I found myself wondering if my own words ever reverberated in the ears of my loved ones. On that note, do we 'live one' after death in the 'thoughts' of others? The tone of the line, "I wish they would crumble too," is absolutely heart-breaking. This dramatic ending suits the poem well.
WORD CHOICE: The words you chose to use blended well together. Sure, the diction is rather common, but that made it easier for the reader to 'connect' and 'relate' to the emotions behind this piece. I loved your use of the word 'echo' as it reminded me of the mountain nymph Echo.
DESCRIPTIONS/IMAGES: I liked the line, "I wish they would break your ears," because the imagery is quite creative and shocking. The fact that the speaker wants to shatter someone's ability to hear suggests that they want this other person to feel as 'deaf' and 'alone' as they do. Although imagery wasn't the focus of this piece, this one example added such power and angst to the tone.
(The Review Game - Poems - Depth)