Hm. The first three lines are interesting, especially the third one. There is some very good imagery to go with this poem's theme of war.

This flows really well at some places, like, "Armed with needles and pins/In that dark desperate place" and "Yet the pain only sharpens/And your will weakens more." And you had some good word choice; I liked "needles and pins," sharpens, and your rhyme with the words scrape and escape.

Hm. I like the theme in "You can't ever win/When you're fighting yourself," "You keep dying a little every day," "I can't save you from you."

This is powerful and relateable. I would suggest stanzas and/or punctuation to add to this poem.

Fragilepoetics,

"You die with each scrape." It's interesting that the speaker suggests that emotional-death knows no bounds-we're able to die over and over again.

"You're more broken than before." Such truth. Many believe that self-harming helps them, but they're wrong, since pain cannot be healed by more pain. The tone of this line is marvelous-the speaker never knew things could go from horrible to worse.

"My silence is a gun." It's sad to think that this world holds no happiness for people, and so, they resort to killing themselves. Shooting yourself is a decision that you can never take back. I hope all of those suicidal people never have regrets, but mainly, I hope they find peace in the afterlife.

"You keep dying a little everyday." This is the best line from the poem-it's absolutely brilliant. The notion of 'time' here is quite prevalent. The speaker suggests that we begin to die the moment we're born-how profound.

Keep up the good work. I hope to see you more around "The Enlightened Mind Cafe" forum. :)

-Isca

cool