|Reviews for Erestina: Unification|
| Guest 3/4/10 . chapter 55
wah! so epic! so excited for the next one!
| Prinnydood02 3/3/10 . chapter 55
Yay! Second book! I sense a thrilling trilogy in my future!
This was a grim ending. That's putting it bluntly though. It does set things up nicely for another book.
I was glad to see Baylor take charge of the group after what happened to Walden and James. I'd like to see how he handles a leadership role. I think he could do it.
Honestly, I felt bad for Louisa. Even though I still know nothing about her, I know enough to understand her love for Walden. I hope she'll be able to cope with it or at least make peace with the truth of the matter.
I've still got a lot of questions, though. Erestina and Cyrus; this Devin guy; James's fate Cyrus taking the Fighter? My frothing demand for the second book has just increased!
Congratulations on finishing the first part!
| Prinnydood02 3/1/10 . chapter 54
It's just hit me with this chapter, but I think it's cool how Baylor, one of the main fighters, is the most well-versed in the Prophecy. That's not something I see very often. Usually, the fighters are the most suave or muscle-bound people of the group. I'm glad I realized this because it's a very unique quality I don't think I've seen before.
Cyrus took Walden's powers? Could it be another misinterpretation of the Prophecy?
No! Quinn's back! I hate her so much... how could she kill Walden like that! He never got the chance to tell Johanna the truth. She needs to die a brutal and bloody death...
"Something about the Prophecy had gone horribly wrong."
You can say that again! I can't believe everything that just happened. It was all so fast-paced it seemed like it was a ream of terrible occurrences all at once. James missing, Walden killed, Cyrus taking Walden's powers (although that one might not be bad). I'm missing Walden already...
| Prinnydood02 2/28/10 . chapter 53
I really enjoyed the bit with James placing the stones into the rock. Having the memories of their travels was a nice touch and helped put the entirety of the story so far into perspective. It's been so long since we've seen some of those characters it was sort of like a family reunion in a strange way.
In my opinion, this and the last chapter should have been combined into one. I felt the last chapter ended abruptly and it was especially apparent because this one continued a conversation the Erestina was having with the rest of the group.
I'm extremely curious about this man Erestina has been having dreams about. What's his deal? Is he the one sealed under Market City? Things have gotten quite interesting...
| Prinnydood02 2/27/10 . chapter 51
I don't remember Baylor and Walden ever having an extended conversation before. Though there were a few points where I got the impression that Baylor was a little apprehensive around Walden.
I thought it was cute how Johanna interacted with Baylor. Baylor seems to be quite a hit with the ladies. I mean, Natalie gave him that kiss and now we have Johanna flirting with him.
This was a nice interlude; a great way to relax a bit before they have to head over to Ailyth. The end is near...
| Prinnydood02 2/27/10 . chapter 50
I'm impressed with how well you were able to depict Baylor's miming. I really felt like I was there observing his movements and they were distinct enough that I could understand exactly what he was saying even thought he didn't utter a word. Nice job with that.
I'd say this one line sums up exactly what Baylor is about:
"At this point, he was becoming accustomed to near-death experiences."
I feel exactly the same way. Ever since he started fighting with the rest of the group, it seems every battle he's in results in him coming within inches of death. The irony is he's not the most confident person, either. I'd say that both unique and weirdly awesome at the same time.
Was it mentioned before that Natalie was the leader of the Cyanyanka? Maybe I missed that...
It seems strange that Natalie would give Baylor these Soul Links. Maybe I'm reading too much into their little exchange before that, but I think there's some future romance between those two? The kiss when he was leaving may have confirmed that. They seem like they'd be a good fit together: Baylor, the apprehensive and Natalie the unwavering.
So, the time has finally come. Walden is going to Johanna to tell her everything. I'm feeling nervous for him. Hopefully Baylor can provide some support for him. I hope things go well for Walden!
Hands down my favorite line of the chapter:
"We'll finish milking these guys for as much as their worth and then we'll go to the princess."
This is the reason Louisa is such a great character. She doesn't act like you would expect a girl too. She's so forthcoming and frank with everything she says. And the fact that the guys just kind of took her comment in stride shows that they've learned to put up with her. I just love it!
I was sad to see that Natalie didn't go with them. The group could use another female. Then again, she isn't a part of the Prophecy so I guess it wasn't meant to be.
I liked this chapter a lot. There were some good developments and it gave some direction to the story after the recovery period. I also think it's nice how the group was split into the two teams of people who haven't had the most interaction with each other recently. I hope that decision leads to something interesting.
| dreamwhenyoublink 2/24/10 . chapter 1
i was drawn to your profile by a review you put up. It was clear and pointed out where the writer could make improvements. I am hoping you will R&R my work as well. I have started reading this and i am blown away at the presentation of this story. i cannot wait to keep reading but i only had tiem to read the beginning. Excellent work.
| Prinnydood02 2/21/10 . chapter 48
"Lee", "Natalie" why didn't I think of it before? It's feels oddly good that Lee's identity has finally been revealed. I'm also glad Natalie didn't leave the group for dead on the altar.
So, Baylor close to dying again? He just can't seem to catch a break. It's weird that he's the most apprehensive of the bunch and the one who seems to come the closest to death. There's a strange irony in there somewhere...
Louisa was oddly excited this chapter. She wasn't her usual brooding self. Maybe it's because all of the stones are coming back together like she said? Still, I can't help but feel a little suspicious.
Another great chapter. Keep it up, I'm sensing that the end is near!
| Prinnydood02 2/17/10 . chapter 47
I was hoping to learn more about Louisa when Natalie was probing each of them about their past. I still know next to nothing about her.
This is going to sound weird, but the voice that greets Natalie and the others; I imagined it sounded like Darth Vader. I'm not sure why though...
The battle was good. It was nice to see Louisa do some fighting this time. But now what? Everyone's poisoned and exhausted. Natalie left them to die?
On to the next chapter...
| myself 2/11/10 . chapter 48
I love this story. the characterization is so good. they seem like real people. the story is also really great too. i can't wait to see what happens next.
| Prinnydood02 2/4/10 . chapter 45
Louisa showing compassion? I'm shocked! Then again, she does treat Baylor a little differently than James or Walden, I think. But then again, she did call him fat. Oh, Louisa, that's why I love you, I guess.
And maybe I didn't notice before, but Walden is quite impulsive. I mean, he pushed the group off of a cliff and just dove right into the water to scout ahead. I hope that doesn't get him into any trouble later on...
Hm. now we have a mystery woman. Could she be a friend or a foe? Will she eventually join James and company? Darn these cliffhangers...
| GracelessLady 1/31/10 . chapter 2
Ha, ha chose a random chapter to review on, so lazy ; anyway no on to my review. I like to give creative criticism so this will be one long review so bare with me :)
To start with, wow, this is just...really fantastic. Such a nice concept, good plot and I can get a great feel for your characters and identify with them. The names I've read up to so far are great, they're not totally far out or impossible to pronounce and they kind of provide a sort of link to reality since they're all pretty much realistic. Not to mention you have also managed to make your world seem quite realistic, you're a great fantasy writer and I applaud you for that.
Now on to improvements (since no one's perfect ;) First off (and you must be tired of hearing this by now ;) is the tale's predictability. From what I got just by reading chapter one was that he was the chosen one, he was a descendant of Lorne and that it was him had to go around, visit shrines, collect spirit stones and then put them all back together into one great stone which is kind of where it goes weak. When I read a story, I like to figure things out on my own rather just have them given to me all at once. What you've just done here is basically given me the entire plot all at once and no matter what you put into later chapters, nothing major to the plot is going to happen that I as the reader won't be able to guess. What you should do is instead go back over on the first chapter and, instead of having Louisa just go up to James and tell him he's related to Lorne and that he's destined to do all of this stuff is instead, for example, have them accidentally run into each other, say James was messing around at the Shrine and maybe he saved Louisa or some little and killed the Forces and then the stone began to glow. Now you've got the heroic aspect added into it and you've given people the idea that wow, there's something interesting about this kid and I wonder what's going to happen next. From here have Louisa stick around with James without really telling him why and over time explain to him bit by bit what he's supposed to be doing that way we don't get it all at once and the plot can remain exciting and suspenseful all throughout. I really think it'd be interesting to have Louisa want to hide the fact he's related to Lorne and have the princess explain his ancestry.
This may seem long and ranting but I really hope it helps,
| Prinnydood02 1/30/10 . chapter 44
It's finally hit me. Baylor is the character who doesn't have confidence in the great power he wields. He always seems so unsure about if he can do seemingly impossible things with his magic. It usually takes some coaxing from Louisa and Walden to finally get him to try it out. But this time, they may have taken it too far. I mean, how could they just jump off of the canyon like that? They either have serious guts or they really believed Baylor would pull through in the end.
I'm not sure if I like Baylor's apprehension, but it is different. Baylor needs to gets some more confidence in himself.
| papaparazzi 1/24/10 . chapter 42
whoa part 3. i will find myself depressed if thsi story is never finished!
but i know it will be finished cause you update so fast.
Seriously how do you do it?
| Prinnydood02 1/23/10 . chapter 41
Baylor has joined the party!
It's about time. I was worried that he wasn't really the Powers for a second. I think he is a good contrast to James, Louisa, and Walden with his insecurity. It would have been boring if Baylor was a cocky kid that wielded the powers that he has.
But what about Joy Angel and Roth? What about Quinn and her sisters? There are too many questions! I eagerly await the next update!