 Monkeydo(isn't signed in) 2009-09-03 . chapter 20 I love how you've put everything I've felt this summer into a brilliant little poem. As always I'm going to tell you that you're brilliant and that I can't wait to read Junior Year. |
 Spurlunk 2009-08-29 . chapter 19I loved the simile about your stomach curling into knots like boat miles. Very, very well done. Keep up with your poetry, you're much better than the random published crap I read in magazines sometimes. |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-08-27 . chapter 19i've just read a series of very
bad poetry by a series of very
bad but variously earnest poets
and it's just a breath of fresh
air to read something so
refreshing as this. thanks. |
 midsummers night scream 2009-08-26 . chapter 19Wow, that was beautiful. |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-08-05 . chapter 16you know i've liked this little summer chronicle
filled with tiny glancing moments that have
meaning for you; i only wish you could somehow
make them a little bit more universal. i guess
omit or better integrate the lines that have
meaning for only two or three people on the planet,
and show the characters better; make us _see_ them,
make us _feel_ them, make us _know_ them in two
or three lines; this is the kind of carefully-
selected detail that in the past you've shown such
facility with; now that summer's ending perhaps a
sharper, more precise vision will return. |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-07-21 . chapter 12you're counting _up_ the days.
when you get to the 'end,' the
next day will follow, and then
the next day will follow, and
in a little while it's all new
the same again. be grateful
for cell phones and email, which
a few of us know are still new
inventions and i'm sorry, cos
this is no kind of review at
all. |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-07-09 . chapter 8ah, too muddled. love the suspension
bridge bits; the blood donation parts
less simply cos they don't really fit
here. let me reiterate what i've said
before: rock and roll died with kurt,
and nothing's been the same since then. |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-07-06 . chapter 7there's something funny and something
piteous about having to impose mental
filters in order to 'imaginine' what
impact art might have under other
conditions. there's also something
funny about how the meme 'light
pollution' has gained accepted
currency over the last few decades,
as though it might be gathered up and
redeemed for hard cash at a recycling
center. |
 no.peace.los.angeles 2009-07-05 . chapter 1The line about how people won't know you then like they know you right now is really nice. Looks to be an interesting start. Keep writing! :) |
 Spurlunk 2009-07-02 . chapter 4I like this one, because it's true. In the summertime people who would normally never talk can be best friends because all the school time boundaries seem to be down, don't you think? |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-07-01 . chapter 5this has about it the glittery shimmer of
one of those story-memories destined to go
down in family legend and myth. |
 Patriotic Zebra 2009-07-01 . chapter 4I really like that you're just naming them by dates. It seems more appropriate for some reason. I can't wait to hang with Tasha again. |
 Patriotic Zebra 2009-06-27 . chapter 3Did SA come by and bother you after I left?
I really like these everyday summer poems, I hope you'll have as much to write about as during the school year. |
 Ernest Bloom 2009-06-27 . chapter 2jeeze, the quality of your
writing is improving at a breakneck,
geometrical pace; can barely keep up with
it. super. |
 hazyglow 2009-06-25 . chapter 2I can hear summer and normality and childish innocence all merge and twining in and out of each other. I really did like this and usually there's one line that does it for me, but the entire thing is just beautiful. |