"Spurting like rogue sparks." Nice simile. Good word choice (i.e. rogue).

"Leaves falling like lonely children." Aww. How melancholic. I just love autumnal imagery. :)

Well, I think I liked it a lot!

omg that was awesome! awesome poem, every stanza was perfectly written with amazing language! i lvoe the very first line :'Water flying and spurting like rogue sparks'. Oh my gosh, best opening line ever! it's so interesting that it immediately catches your attention. love the last stanza the best though. very heartfelt- 'hearts breaking and cascading from broken wings' omg, so much feeling in one line! loved it! :)

Hey... that's really good. (:
I like it the way it is. (lol)
keepitup!
-mb

"Hearts breaking and cascading from broken wings"

That was my favorite line. I really loved this poem! =D

My thinking is that it's a bit short, and some of the verses could have been strengthed. It feels like you wanted to say more, but were unsure about where to go.

I did enjoy the read though, keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.