|Reviews for plane crashes and memories|
| fatbird33 11/6/09 . chapter 1
i really liked this poem. great descritptions and emotions!
| drink me pretty 11/2/09 . chapter 1
The final line is extremely powerful,
but that might be because I've had that exact thought before.
| softersin 10/10/09 . chapter 1
| Alyosha Karamazov 9/1/09 . chapter 1
you have a certain resonance in your work I really enjoy, it's like your words echo and your lines reverberate in my head. This is a good thing.
| simpleplan13 8/7/09 . chapter 1
The second line confused me. Is the they the terminals? The people in the terminals? Is these things the songs? Or the whole riding and airplant thing?
I liked this though, I think you described everything really well. I especially like that last line. Very powerful emotion.
PS If you're bored check out the Review Game and/or its Review Marathon (links in my profile).
| Kate Marshall 7/19/09 . chapter 1
The ending was wonderful. The sadness and (slightly morbid) curiosity was well done; I felt like I was in her place. It was believable. :)
"like they know better than i do how these things should go" As I first read it, that line didn't sound correct in the context. I would think it needs to be worded differently.
You had such a lovely concept. The idea and the setting was interesting. :D
From the Review Marathon (link's in the profile!)
| Luna Turner 7/12/09 . chapter 1
When the poem first started, I didn't know where it was going, but at the end you brought it all together.
It's a brilliant, relatable piece. So many people can say they feel the same.
I love the imagery you used with the airport, and boarding passenger. It's a wonderful- non cliche symbol, that I've never seen used before.
| pixy dust and fairytales 7/8/09 . chapter 1
love the last line, great work!
| for shame 6/29/09 . chapter 1
i love the very blunt honesty in this, especially "and i look hard into the eyes of people who don't look back".
the beginning lured me into thinking this was a poem about happiness and flying away, but then i got to the fourth line and it skewered my idea. then i got to the last line, and i was totally surprised, but in a good way - i like it better than i would like a happy-go-lucky poem about flight. because people never acknowledge the scary fact that planes are tin cans in the sky, and it gets old after a while.
i really like the last two lines;
there is something so powerful, so invading about staring into others' eyes as they try to look away.
| tearing hands 6/28/09 . chapter 1
I like the quiet unhappiness and loneliness the poem establishes, although I think some parts are awkward and could be improved.
I'm not crazy about the first stanza, especially the vague 'they' and 'these things'.
In the second stanza, I have a problem with the word 'rough' because I don't think of boarding passes as rough, but maybe I'm missing something. I love the line 'and i'm already remembering the people i might not see again'.
Third stanza: could 'between' maybe be changed to some other preposition? Or else could the phrasing be changed somehow? Shifting between frames of chairs just seems awkward to me.
I also really love 'and i look hard into the eyes of people who don't look back', but I feel like the last line could be stronger and seems maybe even a little cliched or unnecessary. You've been conveying that feeling of emptiness throughout the poem, and stating it outright in the last line seems a little redundant to me.
Overall, I think you've really captured the sadness and isolation within an aiport. Good job.
| young and the reckless 6/27/09 . chapter 1
the thought of being lost in a crowd pops into my mind
as i read this.
and i love the second stanza and the morose possibility
of never coming back, or never being remembered.
hope you are having a splendid time in cairo - i'm jealous :)
| Isca 6/25/09 . chapter 1
Oh christ. The last two lines are incredible. I've often wondered the same thing. People never seem to look you in the eyes these days. Perhaps we're all just trying to keep up with our 'happy facade.' Good work. :)
| Indefinite 6/25/09 . chapter 1
very interesting. i like this alot. it has that whole kind of empty, but beautiful feel to it. makes me think of airports a little diferently. i like the way you state things i might have already known, but never really took the time to notice, or see the beauty behind them.
| screen of supreme good fortune 6/25/09 . chapter 1
Airports are strange places. They seem propitious for poetry, somehow, even though your description is mostly beholden to the empirical. The parts I like most are notional, such as the last line, or the fourth. The first two lines, from my vantage, fall short of whatever you're trying to get across. Emptiness is a difficult thing to write about.