This is a great story! I really like the way you portrayed the werewolves. Surprisingly, your non-standard view of them is almost exactly the way I am writing the species in the story I am currently working on, though the world I have created is very different. You were right about the commas (I found several errors, and most of them were comma problems), but the story is good enough that the reader (or at least me) is too immersed in the visions your writing creates for the commas to be little more than pebbles on a path. One thing you could do, though, is find someone (a friend, a parent, an English teacher, etc.) to read through your stories to find the problems that you missed before you post it. I know how it can feel--even though I am planning on posting my story here when it's done, I feel reluctant to show it to my mother--but it is the best way to catch errors. Sorry, I didn't mean to have that ratio of negative feedback to positive--I really enjoyed the story, but the section just kept getting bigger.

ew...

very nice beginning!!

Kenna, did she have the recordings in the last story? I'm not confident in my memory.

I feel so sorry for her now. Connor is in complete denial. Could he be scared of what the supernatural means?

"It made me wonder why I ever thought math was hard." There was a lot of fun humour in this chapter which lightened the heavy sort of contemplative mood. I liked it. I also liked the appearance of the dog. We never really did understand if he was a shifter or not. I guess that's for the sequal. I was also wondering about the title of the story. (not the chapter) Shift, relating to the werewolves, but even more to the shifters.

She recorded!? (I don't seem to remember that) Oh, that's evil! I mean, she wants to help, tells them they could trust her, and then records. Sometimes I think that Claire doesn't want to help them so much for the sake of helping, but just to prove her point to Connor and Nicole.

The imagery in this chapter was very powerful. It created clear, and beautiful images inside my mind. Very well written.
"Bigger than a harvest moon, white as snow but dappled with misty silver, it seemed to take up the whole inky blue sky."
Though I've read this before, and know how it ends, I can't help but feel so sorry for Bridget at this point in the story. If I was her, I would do the same.

Very good job on this chapter. It's probably my favourite so far. It was amazingly descriptive in the beggining, I could see it perfectly. A line:

“You idiot! She…isn’t…the…one,” Does she mean shifter?

Also, again, you will have to explain this strange connection between Bridget and Claire. The way she sees her in dreams, and knows her eyes aren't blue.

It was a really touching chapter, I like it. No critique, well written.

Cliffhanger...

There was a line " I would find out the truth about Bridget’s heritage, even if it meant going it alone." Don't you mean "even if it meant going at it alone."?

I feel really sorry for Connor here. I understand why he doesn't want to beleive this, and Claire is being a little unfair. Really well written.

Very well done! No critique. It was very, very descriptive, especially towards the end. I loved it.

Again, great chapter. I noticed a couple of things though

"It’s like you just turned into a freaking werewolf or something" You don't turn into a werewolf, you are a werewolf and turn into a wolf.

Also, I'm not sure you ever mentioned in the last one why it is that Claire sees Bridget's eyes as violet, and no one else does.

I'm so sorry I haven't reviewed in so long! I was away from the computer...I'll review now

Again, you're doing a great job. I can feel a difference, an...improvement in the writing style from before. It's really well done, especially the way you show Bridget's feelings and attempt at controlling her anger.

There was one phrase: "and then she forced herself to speak through an incredibly tightly clenched jaw." You cannot force yourself to speak like that, you do it involuntarily when angry. Other then that, great job.

I like the first paragraph, because it sort of forces us to take a good look at your character. You're not just telling us what she looks like; we actually have to look at her. (If that makes sense.) I think this whole chapter was good, but that's what jumped out at me the most.

"Not only did it act as my personal fitness for the entire year..." - This sentence doesn't make any sense. Did you mean personal fitness *trainer*? Or regimen, maybe? Anyway, clarify this a little.

Happy writing!

-Othello, from the Review Marathon (See the link on my profile for details.)

Agan, great chapter. I loved the way Bringet came in at the end. Even I felt nervous.

There was a sentance "What was worse, what had caused the mini earthquake before had been a falling tree, which now barred my escape." It sounds really strange...It's a bit of a run on.

Other then that, great job.

This was a really good chapter. The only thing that I found was that sometimes you used too much commas “Bridget could die, Nicole!" there is no need for a comma there. Great job.