This story is very entertaining. The characters are interesting and you write well. Can't wait to read more. :)

Man, you must've updated this a while ago, but I've been hellishly busy for the past forever. I only got around to it today (despite the fact that I have this weekend to complete an entire Historical Investigation, as well as a comparative essay between Joseph Conrads' *The Heard of Darkness* and Baz Lurman's film *Strictly Ballroom* on the grounds of the concept 'journey', AND a group art assignment on the Surrealist René Magritte. Year 11 sucks ass). Enough woe-is-me-ing.
So, you didn't flip POV's enough to see Krish and Jai (pouts) but we're making some plot progress. I don't particularly understand this bolded 3rd person who seems to comment every 6th of the page. Some further explanation of that plot device would be appreciated.
But, you know, it was particularly hilarious, as per the usual.
WHAT ABOUT WAITING ON THE WORLD?
xx. Mackenzie

holy frickin toledo. I love this. It's hilarious. (and though Sam is, well Sam, I can't help but be in love with Krish. I mean, he gets Pride and Prejudice! so date worthy) can't wait for the next chaptar
D.A.L

awesome chapter.

...have you read The Book Thief? lol your writing for this piece kind of reminds me of it.

great chapter. the irony of Max actually knowing the person who died after gatecrashing those other funerals was something. and Sam is pretty good at talking to Max. and I loved-
“Funeral,” they answer in unison.

Phoebe sighs with the loneliness of someone who has realised that they are the only person in the room with a slither of sense.

and
He looks like an average guy, but Max is starting to suspect that beneath that mass of hair and friendly smile, lurks a force to be reckoned with.

It will be interesting seeing Max and Jai actually interact with each other. and see more of Krish! great writing. please update soon.

Hey there!

Just wanted to let you know, this story is amazing. It's hilarious and edgy and I love how you plunge the reader straight into the characters' worlds and personalities. You've done a great job with the individual characters - they're all funny, with their own quirks, and despite any obvious flaws they're likeable and easy to relate to. Great job, keep up the good work! Can't wait to see the next chapters!

I love your new story. It's definetely more light-hearted/funnier than your other one, and I love the cast. especially Max and Phoebe, and I love those last lines of Sam, and that Jai actually enjoyed the chick flicks (not that he'd admit it), and I have a (notsolittle) crush on Krish and his accent. great writing. please update soon.

The last part where the three guys compared notes on "How to be The Perfect Guy" was plain hilarious. Jai's notes was 'you-suck, loser', Krish's notes was 'okay, finally a guy who gets it...wait, Andy McDowel?!', and Sam's ones were just 'what the hell, are you high?!!'. Haha. The "she's got me lovestoned etc" part was so absurdly funny, I couldn't help laughing and earned myself funny stares from strangers in the library. Ops. So yeah, just wanted to drop by and say thanks, you totally made my day with that. =)

Oh bub, I like the ammendment to the summary; reads much better than before. But you don't serendate to somone, you just serenade them *winks*

lol on your reply, Jellicoe Road has two different stories, but they're both related. The actual protagonist is in high school though, year 12. She's quite effed up in terms of characters, but yeah, still someone you could walk up to on the street and instantly believe was a real person. (God I wish I was as good at characterisation as you and Melina are... *envy*)

Did you know that chocolate milk is one of the most highly regarded recovery/energizer drinks in the sporting industry? Kind of like Powerade or Up 'n Go (uck!) I learnt that last weekend.

lol at Sam's drunken affection, regardless of gender. XD

I would say "...ticking the names off on his fingers." Unless he truly is crossing his fingers...(?)

Phoebe's snack food preferences totally agree with me. I'm hungry just reading the list :)

Boy can I relate to this age of the noisy, pollution farting car. Great, great line. Excellent!

Good use of this perfefct guy concept, having 4 different ideals to compare with. It's a nice literary technique. I'm loving these char's, can't wait for more. And what about Waiting on the World, eh? I need another fix! xx

great chapter- i think Sam is gonna be my favorite character in this :D

Lol-factor of about a million. I'm listening to No More Days To Waste by Aloha From Hell, it actually suits the pace of this story. The idea's quite rapid, eh? Did writing 3rd person weird you out a bit? It seems like it could be reviewed and improved on. Despite being a well practised beta I have no idea what to make of it. That one's up to you, bub. So, seven parts? I can expect another six chapters then? I do however have one thing that is annoying me. Example: /Sam has been watching these events unfold with concern not unmixed with amusement, and deftly comes to Max’s rescue. He passes her an empty saucepan from the kitchen counter and says, “run- you might make it to the bathroom.”/ If you writing a quote or speech in the middle or at the end of a paragraphy, it ALWAYS begins with a capital. Always. Period. I.e.: "Run- you might make it to the bathroom."
I don't know where you're taking this. The brief involvement of...Krish, is it? And Jai, who has broken his chin but seems to be unconcerned with that (frowns - bit unrealistic) is kind of irritating. I want to see more of them, especially Jai, considering he has just been dumped and broken his chin, you've managed to develop some heavy pathos (woot, preliminary HSC vocabulary!) A'ight, I've bombarded you with enough words today, process them wisely :P x Can't wait for 22 of WotW

this is looking pretty great.

and if its anything like Waiting on the World (which in amazing, by the way) then i think this will turn into something fantastic. keep it up :P