I like how you play with the meaning of horsepower. I don’t think you meant to talk about cars, so I’m assuming it’s about the pure power of the horse itself, which is quiet powerful, hence the turn horsepower. For me you were drawing upon the original meaning, although the reader will want to think of it as something else, yet it goes back to the original meaning just the same. I hope that makes sense, I feel like I rambled a bit.

The piece felt a bit short to me, but another thing that I liked was your use of ‘propel’ ‘pistons’ and ‘heat lightening’ they’re all such strong descriptive words, the reader can’t help but be put in the situation of the scene. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.

i love the contrast of the last two chapters extending from the first. moving from serene to energetic in expression. i like this work a lot.

this is really good.
beautiful simiplicity of observation.

Wow that was beautiful!
Flooded with brilliantly placed imagery!


i would love opinions from an author like you on some of my work here on fictionpress! honest opinions/feedback would mean the world to me!

I love that these golden mares 'ignite' the world in beauty when the sun goes down. I love that only creatures stuck in the darkness can see them run by in the moonlight. The imagery throughout this poem is incredible. :)

"A rouge wind." Brilliant description.

I liked the comparison of a 'rustled mane' to 'rustled grass.'

"Thistle-hued eyes." Wow. Lovely use of kenning.

ever seen Sprirt? I'm sure you have. this reminds me a lot of the beginning of the movie...just a wonderfully painted scene of joy and youth and colts. I like the comparison between the rustled mane and the grass, because I can see exactly what you're thinking. I especially love that your colt continues to "dance" even as he returns to his mother.