 LYCC 2009-08-10 . chapter 1I like it. :) Really nice story you've written, but the ending could have been better. |
 surroundedANDalone 2009-08-07 . chapter 1Short and simple, with the complex undertones of war. Nicely done. :) |
 Lady Livia 2009-07-22 . chapter 1Is this going to be continued?
...the dead sniper bleeding everywhere gave me images of the skinned guys from the Predator movies.. :) |
 amourningmeet 2009-07-10 . chapter 1This is very short, and usually people are like yelling at me because, I don't put much detail and all that crap, but anyway, I got the idea. I'm sort of confused with these soilders and blah, but that's probably just me not knowing all this Army stuff. Aha. |
 East-0f-Eden 2009-07-08 . chapter 1that's very awe inspiring. however, i think you could make it into a better more detailed story. you just need to add more description. i like the short sentences. you're style reminds me a tiny bit of Catch-22 mixed with SlaughterHouse 13. You just need to be more in depth. Those are great books for inspiration for your story. they're great books period. |
 Sergeant Rock 2009-07-08 . chapter 1This was an interesting piece. My guess of the war is either Vietnam or Korea. |
 LostInMe 2009-07-05 . chapter 1At last, the long-awaited "Jungle Buddies"! I thought it would be a poem, so it was a nice surprise to find a short story. Anyway, aww! I'm not sure if that's the exact reaction you're going for, but it's so cute! (I just found one mistake - the last sentence is a run-on.) |
 Isca 2009-07-05 . chapter 1The "I killed his mother" line was such a nice plot twist. I also like that Dick asked the officer if they would all 'understand' that it had been an accident. It's crazy to think that the kid takes a candy bar from the man who shot his mother. That's both shocking and profound. Keep up the good work. :) |