This was the most hilarious thing Ive read all week! Especially:

'Chrysanthemum­ decided to take this as an existentialist question and ignore it.'

LOL! Need more!

What a refreshing intro! I love getting a feel for the main character in the narrative, not the narrator. I couldn't help but envision the scene as some cult sci-fi from BBC (Dr. Who, Red Dwarf, Neverwhere). It's completely over the top but making fun of itself is half the appeal. Thanks for the read!