The angst in this poem is raw and ever-present. I liked the 'pure/hard/cold,' 'a i shi te ru,' and 'ribbons' parts the best - they were all very striking and moving.

Wow. I really liked this one especally the line "ecstasy" got me.

I really liked this.. especially the end. The spacing in some of the lines makes it even more interesting to read, really keeps your attention til the last word.

I like the way this piece kind of conflicts with itself. It totally becomes like a human that way.

I kind of wanted the line after "It's all Greek to me" to be in Greek. I guess it's better this way. Especially if you don't know Greek.

The way it ends gives me hope, too. Like, "YEAH LET'S RIDE!" hope.

really superb. i loved how you distinguished different parts of the piece by using spaces, parentheses, and the regular text. everything ties in wonderfully. i really liked the bit that goes:

"Put a price on my soul-

(it's yours.)

s.

Red ribbons,

he doesn't charge a thing.

(do I hear six cents?)"

it's so cold, and i almost felt an apathetic attitude while reading. i'm sure that's all up to interpretation and such, but i liked it. :)

I felt the emotion of this poem and yet at the same time I found myself really caught up in the way you arranged it. It was amazing over all, really great, good job.