I like that you took the 'daddy' character in Plath's poem and made him your own--moving away from the prejudice (i.e. the Jewish references found in her poem) and focusing more towards describing the abuse. The '** induced life' line was very creative and powerful--this part had the same 'feel' to the tone as in Plath's poem. The contrast between 'devil's blood' and '** coloured villages' is absolutely brilliant--the red/yellow imagery is palpable. The 'smoke' part near the end reminded me of the Jewish references found in Plath's poem and I liked that--the two pieces are connected, yet unique. Keep up the fabulous work. :)

The imagery and emotion are interesting in this one; you describe flying fists from the father, but also that the protagonist wants to get back to the ‘trying times.’ I sensed a lot of Plath in this, good work!

I especially liked: “Devil’s blood and stumble around ** colored villages to accommodate such a task” - Good use of color contrasting red and yellow, and more strongly the use of ‘**’ which is a rather disturbing analogy, yet at the same time ** is yellow and paring it with ‘cities’ makes me think of dusk and heavy streetlamps. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.