Okay, I think I'll stop here for now. First things first, this chapter seems rather important in a transitional sense since this one will introduce tha readers to the main plot. Like the conversation of choice between Marra and Grindel. It really seems that this is somewhat customary for people of Marra's age. But seeing how this whole chapter has gone, I truly doubt both can be considered as options. As for the show of Marra's magic, well I like it in the sense that you're not making her into some kind of omnipotent being. Glad to see a certain weakness here. And the end of this chapter really intrigued the readers. Wonder what plan you will have for that. ;)

Herro there. Me if ya remember. :) Anyway, that was an interesting first chapter here. I wonder what's with the whole agenda in Fitcher's act. Must be some kind of political wrangling by my own guess. As for the issue on magic here, it seems rather interesting. I wonder how you will further refine this aspect of your story. As for Marra, well I guess she won't be the typical fantasy heroine here. Sort of reminds me of my main character in my other story A Ranger's Tale. ;) Anyway, that was a good starting chapter here and I wonder what will happen next.

Review Marathon! (See the link on my profile for details.)

I like that this story could almost be about real people, because it's a nice change from the Epic War Stories I've been reading a lot lately. I especially like Marra, because she seems spunky and awesome.

Happy writing!

Hi!
The story sounds good so far. It left me wondering what her Shame was. I'm also wondering who the girl was, the girl who was chasing Marra. The bottom line is: you're pretty good at writing.


~Nini