You have a lot of powerful verses in this, many of them really set this piece apart from any others I’ve read in a while.

I really enjoyed: ‘Bracelets of shadows upon her wrists’ - I’ve never read a description like that, and ‘her eyes of ethereal porcelain’ I particularly enjoyed the pairing of ethereal with porcelain. When I think of something ethereal I think of moss and forests, things that are natural, and when I think of porcelain I think of things that are unchanging and scarily perfect.

Overall I enjoyed your poem but I feel like something was missing - it was very abstract, and you ended it on a strong note, but I also feel like perhaps you wanted to say more but weren’t sure how to go on. It feels unfinished. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.