|Reviews for The Struggles Of A Writer|
| abs9 1/6/10 . chapter 2
MORE MORE MORE
| akaCHEEKS 1/5/10 . chapter 2
woaahh! haha definite competition. i say ditch the old man and go with aaron. he's a hottie even though he is a douche bag. may i suggest looking over your grammar a wee bit though? don't take it the wrong way, its absolutely perfect, it just needs a little more polishing if you get what i mean.
| Zoromaru 1/5/10 . chapter 2
How did Count chose the name 'Chocolate' for her laptop?
| misery sister 1/5/10 . chapter 2
I haven't read any stories in a while - but this was definitely refreshing! I liked it quite a lot! :D I love how she tried to count to relax herself. "1, 2, 3 - 10." Hahaha! Yeah, those don't work for me either. :)
Great job! :D
| St. Clair 1/5/10 . chapter 2
Haha - this is SO much fun. Aaron is absolutely hilarious - he's an asshole but he's not one of those annoying in-your-face ones - he's definitely arrogant but very charmingly so. And very forward, too, but that's the arrogance, huh. Amethyst is interesting too though I think I'm favouring Aaron at the moment - I love her clumsiness though I'm not too sure that's entirely too good a thing for a psychologist! Still, she's kind of adorable- very likeable and I love how she names her phone, and her dog "Count" (hahaha). Though I have to say the most hilarious part of these 2 chapters has to be Mrs. Lara and her 'sweet tooth' disorder - that had me laughing aloud.
I really like the story and the flow of it. There's a minor typo at the end of ch.1 where Clarisse is "clearly seizing him up." - should be 'sizing' him up. But apart from that there's not much else - really enjoyable read, thank you! :)
| Heather F. C 1/5/10 . chapter 2
cool, you're back! i wondered what had happened to this story! i'm really happy that you updated. i love how things are going. i'd love to learn more about aaron and the book! can't wait for the next chapter :D
| Jessiquie 8/4/09 . chapter 1
Hey. I absoutely loved this! When I got the SKOW email I could easily relate to the main character in the summary, and thought it would interesting to see how you pulled it off, but my gosh this brilliant.
I love the set up and the mysterious I'll pretend to be Mr. Hart and have a fake session character, got a feeling we might be seeing him a fair bit more (hoping so!) and I love the dog at the begining.
This is fantastic, extremely intrigued as to where you take this from here. Hope you update soon!
| Zesty-Tomato 7/31/09 . chapter 1
I actually really liked it. Approved, haha. Continue, por favor. :)
| Danielle Gin 7/20/09 . chapter 1
I wish that you had started the story without the huge introductory. Rather than get the facts on who’s who and what they’ve done, it’s more appealing to me to read it through the text with subtle hints at it. You know? Now there’s not much mystery for our heroine. Although I do have to admit this mysterious man is charming in that I-know-what-I-want way. Nice work!
| ishta 7/20/09 . chapter 1
great first chapter. it has really caught my interest and now i wanna read more.
| starry-madness 7/20/09 . chapter 1
This is a great chapter, and the storyline is interesting! I like the way how "Mr Hart" entered the story... just with a knock on the door.
Perhaps you could start with "it smelled like fire" and add the previous information throughout the chapter? For instance you could leave the physical descriptions to add later on in the story. Or you could sort of summarise the two paragraphs into a couple of sentences...
That's just my opinion, anyway. Great story so far, looking forward to the next chapter!
| lalalalady 7/20/09 . chapter 1
Haha! This sounds like a great start to a great story. The ending was interesting and left me wanting more. Who's the fake Mr. Hart? What does he want from her? I guess this story appeals to me because I'm like the writer: I write stories, but I'd prefer to keep them to myself. Please update soon!
| Colie Rae 7/19/09 . chapter 1
I love the idea for this story! So funny! The summary is also awesome.
The first two paragraphs are really long and overwhelming. I think the first maybe four sentences could be cut down to one effective sentence. If I have time tomorrow I would love to copy those paragraphs into a email and seriously edit them. They just don't seem to fit with the story and your character's personality. Perhaps you wrote them separately?
I love your character and her disinterest in her patients. It seems like a therapist has to genuinely care for patients and yours is just struggling to keep them straight. I love that. (although at the same time it drives me crazy. Like, "girl, you picked the wrong profession!")
Also, as a side note, you spelled kleenex wrong unless you were going for a funky off brand. :)
Good luck and I will definitely keep reading! I love this so far. :)
you know, now that I think about it. Maybe eliminating the beginning and just starting with "It smelled like fire." and come back to the beginning later, just leave bits of it woven into the story without chunking it together at the start? I don't know.
Also, this is simply a personal preference but the names are all a bit unique (in actual name or spelling). I think that all the people from a family can have "coordinating" names like if Amathyst has siblings they better have crazy names also. But naming everyone, even unconnected with unique names takes a bit of the reality away from it. Majority of people have boring names like John or Eric or Jessica or Rachel. That one is just my own opinion though, it doesn't really hinder your story for any normal reader.
| CassandraRose526 7/19/09 . chapter 1
So your advert on SKoW and that you wanted constructive crit. So here's my (hopefully) helpful review!
I really loved this first chapter so far. I believe that it def. has potential and I would read on! Two things I would consider changing. The first is the first couple paragraphs-I don't think they flow very well in the story, and I've never been a big fan of when the MC has a prologue in which she talks herself down-I felt as if the story started with: "It smelled like fire." Secondly, the conversation between Kassandra and the MC seemed a bit . . . juvenile to me. The MC's words and thoughts didn't sound much like how an adult would talk/think. Other than that though, I thought it was great! I really did love the interaction between her and the mysterious, supposed patient. Hope I didn't sound too harsh. I really did love this chapter! Look forward to reading more!
| Aliarcy 7/19/09 . chapter 1
..I want to review. I want to tear it to bits for you, so you don't have togo ballistic on it. But I can't! I love it, really. It's a great opening chapter Good job! *Alert*