Aw yes, this was a good one. Something about the repetition of the piece was refreshing, and the details and imagery were beautiful. I did like it a lot! You should write more stuff like this. Not that your other work sucks or anything. :C

Theres something about the repitition of this piece that make everything seem really realistic, and what you're desribing all too real. Like you're describing everything just with the repitition. As if you don't even need the words. Does that make sense?

Well, it was amazing, nonetheless

This has a great rhythm and I can imagine it with deep music. It flows really well and the beat adds to the melancholy of the tale; it makes me want to cry. It's like the feeling at twilight - everything is going to end, but still you'll remember that bright warm sun.

fleur

"Dancing with the fire light,

with the beat of your fists on the rocks."

Beautiful! As always!

Hollis