i loved this! faved! KEEP IT UP!

Much like the last poem of yours I reviewed, this one has a very Cain and Abel subplot. I wonder if it will be a common theme in your work as I read more. The last stanza at the end of the second and third paragraph must be meant to be read faster than the rest. Somewhat like you noted in one of mine, it appears to break flow but in fact is just a complicated verse.

"And though his heart was wounded, he swept away his hate,
To live a vengeful life, he’d not choose it as his fate."

I like the idea of forgiveness being the better fate for yourself which you are able to choose.

The ending seems vague but I hope it's positive =)

~fleur

This was another great poem that I can relate to. Again, written by a phenomonal author.

The 'two brothers' reminded me of Native American beliefs.

This poem rhymed and flowed very well.

I liked the contrast between 'murder' and 'mourning' in this poem - the black hawk killed his brother, and yet, it was the hardest thing he ever had to do and it pains him.

Good personification of Hope at the end.

Keep up the good work. :)

Ah, beautifully tragic. Such a sad, touching story, and very well-written with a steady structure. May we all be like that bird, who pushes all hate and anger aside! I really love this.

"But the strong black bird still wept, for the brother he had slain,

His torn and tattered feather, the symbol of his pain."
-- love these lines :) Hell, I love it all! You know me!
And I like how yu capitalized 'Hope' in you last line :)

Is it wrong that I found this attractive?
...Sad. ...but attractive.

:)
xx

This is certainly angst carried to the ultimate. Beautiful and tragic. I like the structure and rhyme. Your linking of the first two lines to the last two: "dawn - mourn" and "dawn - born" is an ambitious effort. But I'm not sure it works, especially with "mournful in the dawn" coming before "mourn." I'll have to think about it.