The last two verses were wonderful, Your opening was somewhat slow, but it picked up after that.

I loved: "Ellipses dotting my way like pebbles..." That is inspiring. I'm having one of those jealous writer moments when I read this. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Juliet.

I like the comparison of a constellation to a fluorescent bulb - that's very vibrant and creative.

"I am exposed." The tone of this line is perfect - it's honest, with a hint of angst.

The ending is very unique - the connection between 'your face that will be read' and 'tomorrow' reminded me of those who pay attention to things like divination and astrology.

seems extravagant and flossy for you,
npla. but it's good to read someone
who can write and think. and the
first line mixing sweat and electricity
sounded really dangerous and contra-
indicated. at least put on thick rubber
soles and dry your hands before grabbing
hold of that wire.

Wow. This is intense and the imagery and emotion that comes through just took over. I loved it. Great writing. =]